Conect11

Jul 19, 2007 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Raptor

Once I received a plain brown paper bag as a gift.

I reached inside

and pulled out a tiny,

vicious lizard

that looked much like a velociraptor

in the movie "Jurrasic Park."

I held it firm

by the end of its tail

while it frantically tried to bite my finger off.

The small thing fought so hard,

and snapped so fiercely

that it broke its own back

in half.

— Conect11, Jul 19, 2007

Critiques

weirdelf

19 years ago

There are few things more boring than other peoples dreams.

If, on the other hand, you changed the title and took out the first line, this would be an intriguing piece, probably earning a lot more dissection than you think it merits. As a mental exercise I am going to pretend to read it as I suggested and give you feedback on that. cheers, Jess

weirdelf

19 years ago

Wow, I see here that you are truly challenging

our concepts of historical self and the inner beast, compartmentalised (in the paper bag) unknowable until life (the gift) presents it to us. Un-tameable yet beaten. A profoundly disturbing piece. Thank you, Mark. cheers, Jess

Conect11

19 years ago

go

eat a turd, Jess. Lol! Yours in lizardry, Mark

Conect11

19 years ago

ok bunny poo

I have changed this and offered it up for dissection. Who wants to dissect a lizard?! Mark

weirdelf

19 years ago

I stand vindicated in my smart-arsedness

A much better poem. Intriguing, open to many meanings. cheers, Jess

Conect11

19 years ago

funny

a dream analysis once reported that the dream was about America's War on Terror (tm)

Quillsvein1

19 years ago

This one flew

Right over my head just like one of those dinosaurs from "Jurassic Park". A parable? You're just...too deep for me!

Conect11

19 years ago

nah

you didn't see the original posting. This was actually a dream I had, but at Jess's much appreciated urging I took out the part referencing it as a dream. Mark

stardream

19 years ago

i could feel

that little back breaking...ow!...stardream

Mark

19 years ago

you know Speilberg?

Because I thought he had all those little critters trademarked. Anyhow still laughing here after watching a dvd from an 8mm home movie of my brother Charles who did this incredible Godzilla 8mm thing with play-dough and his model tanks and planes when he was ten years old lol. He's Pilots a SeaHawk for the Navy now and is a Commander. I think there is hope here lmao . . .

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