When

Today I went back in time,

back to last year and the year before.

I read old words and felt the same,

slightly more numb, but essentially the same.

The pain is still there. The tears still flow.

I keep wondering when it will all go away,

when will I just wake up and find it all a bad dream.

When will I hit the snooze button and try to sneak a few more minutes,

then realize I don’t have a few more minutes because it’s only 8 hours til I have to have

my words ready to say in front of all those people.

And damn why didn’t I get a larger goblet for the ceremony? The minister’s nose will never fit in that one.

But it wasn’t a dream was it?

It happened. All those words, those beautiful words,

that caused so much pain and didn’t even serve their intented purpose.

When will you speak  and write those words of me?

When will I inspire those beautiful words?

Because Phyllis is damn right

"Sticks and Stones are hard one bones

Aimed with angry art

Words can sting like anything.

But Silence breaks the heart."