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LC
Lenny of Cohen
Jul 13, 2007 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Blood Poem

save your blood
keep it in your veins
you need to share out
your love instead

connect with the reality
of now
slow down
take it easy on your dna
its time
to harvest your sorrow

smile today, never tomorrow
how did your parents feel
when you walked on water
and how did it feel

you are the man with many names
you gave us your blood
gave us free reign
and now people turn to you
in times of darkness
when they come face to face
with their own mortality.

(c)2007.13.7 lENNY gAZBOWSKI

— Lenny of Cohen, Jul 13, 2007

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

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Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 11 months ago

not your best, I think

loved it up to the last stanza, good idea going somewhere. Then lost me, sorry, but I thought the ending was trite cheers, Jess
LC

Lenny of Cohen

18 years 11 months ago

Blood

Yes, on reading it again I will delete that last stanza and use it elsewere. Regards, Lenny
SS

Spirit Song

18 years 11 months ago

Hmmmm?

"Ask and you shall recieve" : ) LOL... A bit unfocused and lacking profoundness. Left me with only the thought that this is good draft material to further create upon. A subject matter that needs to plant a seed in the readers mind... yours blew off in the wind. OK... waiting greatness. Go for it! Jerry It is said there are two ways of doing things The right way and the wrong way I believe there is a third way A NEW WAY JVS
LC

Lenny of Cohen

18 years 11 months ago

More Blood

I think the first three stanzas are fine, and may lead to a lengthier version. Final stanza will find itself being operated on and then be donated to another poem! Regards, LG