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Spirit Song
Jul 13, 2007 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Wires Crossed

 

 

I lie unplugged

burnt out

confused

blown.

I lie unplugged

switched off

powerless

no surge.

I lie unplugged

no outlet

no light

Alone

in the dark.

 

 

 

Copyright 2007 JVS/ Spirit Song

 

 

.

 

 

— Spirit Song, Jul 13, 2007
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Critiques

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barbsdad2003

18 years 11 months ago

Very

Very nicely done. Thanx, Chuck PS: Although I urge you to change lay to lie. Unless you mean the past tense.
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Spirit Song

18 years 11 months ago

Thank you for your visit and review

Thank you Chuck for the note on tense. I will edit and change lay to lie as the write was a delivery in a NOW moment : ) With Gratitude, Jerry It is said there are two ways of doing things The right way and the wrong way I believe there is a third way A NEW WAY JVS
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Quillsvein1

18 years 11 months ago

blackouts suck

i had a similar problem, power out for two days. this is a simple, sparse poem which conveys the sensation of utter darkness. in that sense you do well, though i'd like to see a little more expansion on the whole theme. good job.
SS

Spirit Song

18 years 11 months ago

Thank you for your visit and review!

A temporary outage : ) My intent was to convey in as few words as possible the emotion. LOL... My style of writting and my thought... simplistic to the point...why ramble : ) Your sharing is appreciated. With Gratitude, Jerry It is said there are two ways of doing things The right way and the wrong way I believe there is a third way A NEW WAY JVS

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