Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

SS
Spirit Song
Jul 13, 2007 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

KNIFED

 

 

Knifed right through

you turned away

leaving me for dead

I cried out

no one came

I bled

WE

died.

 

 

 

Copyright 2007 JVS/ Spirit Song

— Spirit Song, Jul 13, 2007
More from this author

Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 11 months ago

I see it

hear it and feel it. Powerful, simple and very good. I don't think "we" needs to be bold and caps, the words say it all cheers, Jess
SS

Spirit Song

18 years 11 months ago

Review Thank you

Thank you Jess for your visit and sharing on this write and for feeling it. I put WE in bold caps for impact : ) Again Thank you, With Gratitude, Jerry It is said there are two ways of doing things The right way and the wrong way I believe there is a third way A NEW WAY JVS
SS

Spirit Song

18 years 11 months ago

Thank you!

Thank you Chuck for your sharing on this Epigram of mine. The current ways are not working... Blessings from Hawaii, Jerry It is said there are two ways of doing things The right way and the wrong way I believe there is a third way A NEW WAY JVS
C

Conect11

18 years 11 months ago

effective

I like it for it's brutal honesty, but have not gotten my hands around whether that is intentional, or if it's just the same young angst I've seen many many times in writing. Mark
SS

Spirit Song

18 years 11 months ago

Thank you for your vist!

Stark as intended... Why ramble LOL : ) Jerry It is said there are two ways of doing things The right way and the wrong way I believe there is a third way A NEW WAY JVS
Q

Quillsvein1

18 years 11 months ago

clever

I admire the daring with which you explore the minimalist style and how you imply how both figures have died--as though there were no victim and no victimizer, no real difference, only a material one. You give brutal tragedy an effective treatment. In this case I'd agree with connect that it's a little hard to discern whether your poetry is the work of "minimalist" proper or not--which is why I'd love to see you expand just a little more on your work. We're all missing out for the lack of expansion with your obvious talent. Good job
SS

Spirit Song

18 years 11 months ago

Thank you for your visit and sharing!

Sometimes the less said the better : ) LOL You will see more from me as I post. This write was presented as I intended. TO THE POINT... OUCH : ) Jerry It is said there are two ways of doing things The right way and the wrong way I believe there is a third way A NEW WAY JVS
R

RandomThoughts

18 years 10 months ago

Awesome

Simple straight to the point. I loved it.
SS

Spirit Song

18 years 9 months ago

Thank you!

Thank you Random for receiving this write for what it is : ) With Gratitude, JVS It is said there are two ways of doing things The right way and the wrong way I believe there is a third way A NEW WAY JVS
I

IKnowNoBox

18 years 9 months ago

I have been Robbed at Knife Point

Upon the review of the security Tape I saw how close it came to my back!I await a NEW WAY,as I make My Way Through the fast encroaching waste land! In Ink, I Know No Box
SS

Spirit Song

18 years 9 months ago

Thank you!

Looks like we both survived Poet : ) In sharing... do not wait... be the New Way. Blessings from Hawaii, JVS It is said there are two ways of doing things The right way and the wrong way I believe there is a third way A NEW WAY JVS

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.

Join free Log in