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poet_inside
Jul 10, 2007 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Through It All

Sadness within

From my orginal sin

 

Darkness hidden

For its so forbidden

 

Passions released

Bringing out the beast

 

One thing I recall

I loved through it all

— poet_inside, Jul 10, 2007
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Critiques

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Quillsvein1

18 years 11 months ago

last two lines

You're definitely off to a good start here. The first three stanzas are good, but I think the last two make this particular piece ("I loved through it all...") That is a real statement, a real eye catching and substantive line. Keep writing!
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poet_inside

18 years 11 months ago

:)

Thanks, I wanted to add the light I've had through those times, thats where the love came in! Thanks again!
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Conect11

18 years 11 months ago

agree

with quills on the last two lines. The rhyme scheme seems a little forced, however I think that might be me adding my prejudices to it, so I will step back and look at this poem again tomorrow. Mark
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poet_inside

18 years 11 months ago

Thanks

Yea most of my stuff doesn't exactly rhyme when I write it so this area is a little new to me, just figured I'd give a try thank you
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 11 months ago

aah redemption!

such a rare an beautiful thing to achieve in poetry, and so simply done (that is praise not crit) Don't get me started on original sin, it is the single concept most responsible for why I am not a christian. cheers, Jess
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Conect11

18 years 11 months ago

original

sin as the catholics understand it is a crock, it's why they baptise infants when we (protestants and anabaptists) believe that to follow Christ is a choice, and not an easy one.
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 11 months ago

true

but is it just the catholics? Is there not a belief inherent in all christianity that we are born bad and need to be saved? That is what I object to with every fiber of my being. I was born good. and you. cheers, Jess
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Conect11

18 years 11 months ago

no

we're not born bad, per se. It's just that as humans it is impossible to live a sinless life. Only one has done it, and he was the incarnate son of God. A baby that dies dies perfectly, they have not been soiled, or so my understanding is. To sin requires a willfull act. Yes, Adam and Eve committed "original sin" in the sense that God saw that man would forever be rebellious against him as long as we are chained to this imperfect Earth. Now, some people take that literally in that we are born bad. No, we become bad through the influence of the world, the Devil, etc. Mark
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poet_inside

18 years 11 months ago

I am religious but not a

I am religious but not a certain domination, I don't think any single one as a whole is right, I think that people should belive in some type of a higher power/being, and right and wrong, you can not be born bad then you must alway be fighting for redemption and if thats the case then what was the point in starting life a new??? I still do a little research here and there I'm 22 and haven't found what some would say "full-faith". I believe in reincarnation which makes it hard to just be christian or baptist, so I study a few different things. One can only believe what one can believe whole heartedly. In the end no one truely knows.

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