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WAR BETWEEN GOD AND HIM

HERE DEVIL’S ATROCITIES AND THE NECESSITY OF PURE SOULS
ARE NARRATED AS A POEM

WAR BETWEEN GOD AND HIM

WAR BETWEEN GOD AND HIM
====================

HE IS POWERFUL TO DO ANYTHING
HIS HANDS ARE MIGHTY TO DO HARM TO ALL
HE NEVER FEARS TO THE GOD
HIS RULE IS GOING ON HERE

TO CHANGE THIS CRUEL
NOBLE SOULS HAVE TO COME
THEY MAY BE FROM SLUM OR RICH
THEIR THOUGHTS SHOULD BE UNIQUE

HIS POWERS MAY BE HUGE AND ENORMOUS
HIS LIFE MAY BE STRONG AND LONG
THESE PURE SOULS CAN PUT AN END TO IT
THEIR SACRIFICE ALONE CNA DO THIS

HIS WAR AGAINST THE GOD IS ATROCIOUS
IT CANNOT BE TOLLERATE FOR A LONG
WE MAY PRAY TO UNITE THEM TO COME
THEIR ARRIVAL IS THE ONLY WAY TO OUR PEACE

SAKTHI RAVICHANDRAN AN INDIAN ENGLISH POET

— SAKTHEEE2007, Jul 10, 2007

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Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 11 months ago

sakkthee, I don't quite know what to make of your work

It is vibrant and sincere, some powerful images and emotions, especially A Rain In Summer and First Sin. I applaud your frank, joyous faith in the word and its power. Perhaps I am a cynical old bastard but I can't help wondering if there is something between the lines I am missing. One very important thing. PLEASE STOP POSTING IN CAPS IT READS LIKE DESPERATE SHOUTING AND DESTROYS THE SUBTLETIES OF YOUR WORDS. cheers, Jess
S

SAKTHEEE2007

18 years 11 months ago

THANK YOU

DEAR SIRS Thank you for your open comments .I will reduce the usage of caps from this second thanks a lot for every thing
AP

A. M. Painter

18 years 11 months ago

everythings good and all..., but

i like it but it hurts my eyes to read it, i feel like i was just scolded after reading this.. good peice tho! a. m. painter
K

kinganeye

18 years 11 months ago

I may has missed something

I may has missed something here or there is something missing that I cant quite place. It needs to flow better I am not sure but it seems harsh in its usage of english
S

SAKTHEEE2007

18 years 10 months ago

sorry

sorry dear can you suggest the way of presentaion of my thoughts as a poem without any preparation i submit in online please give me your suggestions