Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Black Walls

These black walls they make me scream

Your not there, not in my reach

So scared, so lonely

I don’t know how to feel

What is wrong, what have I done

Am I worth saveing

I close my eyes

Your the only one I see

The walls, they are my prison

I need color, I need life

Where are you, where have you gone

You left me here all alone

There’s no more me, there’s no more you

What should I do, I haven’t a clue

Hurry help me

Or I’m gone forever

These black walls they make me scream

These walls they are my prison

— poet_inside, Jul 07, 2007

Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 11 months ago

Hi poet_inside

Forgive me please I am going to be lazy and review all your poems at once here. They are deceptively simple, straightforward and honest, refreshing. Some spelling and punctuation needs looking at. My biggest concern is the centred formatting. I find it only really works for very short poems with short lines, otherwise it makes it hard on the eye while scanning them. Life on rewind was hard work. cheers, Jess
P

poet_inside

18 years 11 months ago

I agree

Yea its a copy and paste from one of my poetry sites was being lazy not takeing the centered alignment off. Sorry I completely agree

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.