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Untitled

My leave are bent,

and my petals wilted.

Reality can be cruel.

Knowing that it won’t rain for ages.

Clouds will form but they only tease

and the sun beats down harder

now than

yesterday.

Oh yesterday was  bad, but today will be worse.

Ugliness will soon replace what once was beautiful.

Hot dusty earth where once was rich and comfortable

earth.

All my roots are shriveled. My precious

roots that once gave

me life, now only keep me in the same spot.

Empty of liquid and of life.

— Lis Cassé, Jul 06, 2007

Critiques

C

Conect11

18 years 11 months ago

sparse

vivid, visual, and I sense even more metaphorical than I know. "Clouds will form, but they will only tease" is brilliant. Welcome to neopoet, this is a good work to start off with. Mark
P

pinksheep

18 years 11 months ago

Untitled

I wish I could write a line as supreme as clouds will form but they only tease . As you know the poem needs re-writng in parts so that it will be an extremely excellent poem . pinksheep

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