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W

aipotU

Blasphemy consumes the simple minded
that can’t define the definition of self-progression
and usse brutal words as excuses for self-expression.
The Title ignorance
never made no sense
to the uneducated minds
of those 
that never looked at it visually
never saw  streets, littered with poverty
never, noticed children tryin’ to hustle their way out of reality
and come out victoriously.
See,
We assimilate into corrupted souls
WE, mutate into  plants that digest but refuse to grow
SO, 
blinds continue to block out jail cells, sex offenders,
twisted politicians and terrorism
police brutality epidemics of AIDS cocaine heroine and methane
BUT
is this supposed to be a sense of protection?
this is no way to lead us in the right direction
We Need to step up and form a new organization
With new alterations and modifications
Otherwise the world will always remain
tainted
unseen
and forsaken:
as a backwards utopia

— Word, Jul 06, 2007

Critiques

C

Conect11

18 years 11 months ago

a slammer's poem if I ever saw one.

see Brit, how the hell do you expect me to talk sh*t about you when you keep writing gold? "The title ignorance never made no sense..." I f*cking love it! I like the little dig at some other writers, is cool, is cool. On the surface appears to be a slammer's piece, and then you dig in with some sharp and biting insights about people's lack of reality, to put it the best way I can. Keep it up. And if you want me to say something negative I'll repeat the same thing I've said to you before: Punctuation consistancy. Peace. Mark
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 11 months ago

oh mate

this work makes my "America the brave" look dumb, and I am glad to be made look dumb. any -ism is wrong. This is brave, pure and true, with respect, Jess
WC

Will Searles Carman

18 years 11 months ago

AipotU

My friend - what kind of a title is that? Am I missing something? Also, we may 'find' a definition but I can't imagine defining a definition. Overall, I'd like to see you work toward more consistency in punctuation and presentation. Hope this critique is not too harsh. Your ideas are very good but there is a need for establishing some kind of flow. Maybe it is those sudden capitalized words that make it feel disjointed to me. The topic and concept are fine and I really like some of your word choices. Ah, maybe it's more like riding a beautiful but very high spirited horse for the first time! Keep working - or riding. Will
AP

A. M. Painter

18 years 11 months ago

i WAS confused

before i read this i spent five minutes trying to figure out the title. its clever, i like the poem also a.m. painter
C

chronecro

18 years 10 months ago

socialism

so, yeah.
LC

Lenny of Cohen

18 years 10 months ago

Thundering

juggernauts !!! Loved this !!! It reminded me of a Guirdjieff observation that mankind walks around asleep and interacts in mechanical like fashion. An unknowing being who assimilates into a corrupted soul - from one of your lines - SORRY. Excellent work. Lenny
W

Word

18 years 10 months ago

GRACIAS

THANKS MUCHO

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