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Bleeding Hearts

Set your sites on the sun

But settle for the moon

Deny the world air as you take it for yourself

I had everything you asked for

But you wanted so much more

 

Devoir the dreams of your parents

And destroy their hopes for success

Give up on love and give up on life

Everything was set up so perfectly

But you threw everything away, including me

 

Hold on to hope of survival

As I hold on to the threads of love

You cut down the world around you

As you divide your own heart

Hoping that you wouldn’t fall apart

 

I wouldn’t be so upset if we gave it one last chance

But you deny me anything, even after I gave you everything

My bleeding heart won’t heal

And even after I let all this blood flow like water

You deny my heartache as being real

 

But these days you break down on the cold ground

And dream the world to your feet

I could have given you anything you would ever want

But your heart decides that the world isn’t enough

I treated you like a queen

To show you what you really mean to me

But  guess it just wasnt enough

 

Set your sites for the sun

But fail before the moon

Fail before you even move

— A. M. Painter, Jul 06, 2007

Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 11 months ago

the title says it all

some good imagery here and I am still hearing the echoes of your great potential but we are stictly into martyr territory here, and the world has a surfeit of them, both passive and exploding kinds. cheers, Jess
AP

A. M. Painter

18 years 11 months ago

um

"we are stictly into martyr territory here, and the world has a surfeit of them, both passive and exploding kinds." yea i dont know what that means, please elaborate. thank you for the kind words though! a. m. painter
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 11 months ago

I meant you sound like a weak martyr

to be brutal, the one who die for love. The other martyrs blow themselves and other people up. A martyr to love... I would love to read something from you about something else than your lost love, you have huge potential, I want to hear about your lust for life. Which you obviously still have. cheers, Jess
P

pinksheep

18 years 11 months ago

Bleeding Hearts

The first two stanzas good, very good, they spoke volumes to me , I can not convey in words how much I liked them , you have talent , believe me . However I feel the last line in the second stanza needs re-writing as it jars on the rhythm . I lost interest to be honest in the rest of the poem ,also I felt your similes to be a little too obvious and the title a little bit of a cliche . Please note this is only my opinion ,see what others think , sincerely pinksheep
AP

A. M. Painter

18 years 11 months ago

sorry

sorry that i made you lose interest. i appreciate the honesty though. a. m. painter

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