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Get Rough With Me - Update

I need exotic music
steel drums
and African beats
stay
rough with me
cold wet lips
and taste heady flavors
savor, put your hands up
put your hands on me and breathe…
I need exotic music,
the pulsating, pounding of drums and incense and love
and lust and get
rough with me
get
inside my head and halfway down my throat
taste
taste fingertips and prints and smell new scents
heady like love and sex and garlic, roasted.
be strong with me
be strong for me
get
rough with me
I need
pure wet love
and emotion, drop it just
remember me
in our strong domain
with its smells smells smells
asiago and chicken
and truffles and lambic
get
rough with me
and hurt me
inside and out side of me
hands up
fingers to my face
remain
close to me
and rough with me
I need
an African sunrise
steel drums
and memory
keep
this memory
get
rough with me,
the pulsating, pounding
of drums and sex and lust
and get
right with me
get tight with me
let it go
forgive me
you still haven’t forgiven me
so get
real with me
I need
to put it down
bring it back
so get
rough with me.

— Conect11, Jun 27, 2007

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Critiques

weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 11 months ago

Bravo!

loved the original and you have taken it to another level. Speaks at many levels and you even brought in forgiveness without destroying its lusty integrity. One tiny thing, is not regret married to forgiveness? cheers, Jess
C

Conect11

18 years 11 months ago

indeed

it is. Therein lies the message of this lustful, and yet tragic poem.
W

Word

18 years 11 months ago

BRAVO!!!(again)

It is a shame, a damn shame, when I look at this and want to take down my poem. Imagery, roated, mm...lust is in the air... Thank peace
C

Conect11

18 years 11 months ago

no, no, no!

you need to finish your poem, which was mondo inspirational!