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"Summer's Sunday"

 "A Summer’s Sunday"

                     A greeting’s shadow,
                     handshakes tight with
                          empty bone.
         
                     The sloppy shine
                      of the bike’s parked 
                      chrome coated in
                       a sun’s white oil.

                       A tire’s screech
                        like a young girl’s
                           first scare.

                        and you look
                        for an eagle’s truck,
                        with envelopes listing

                             your name,
                                   
                                   your address,

                                      where you stand today.

                         And a truck is leaving,
                         without delivery–
                         a man happy taking
                               a drive
                         because today he has
                               nothing else
                                    to do.

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weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 10 months ago

You are clearly a talented writer

This creates some very lucid images and impressions. Can't help wishing for something more visceral, muscular, from you. Oh and you don't need the italics, a device to be used with more caution than rhyme or exclamation marks. cheers, Jess
Q

Quillsvein1

18 years 10 months ago

Thank you

You're dead on as usual--this was just an attempt at trying to convey the sometimes disembodied, unreal feelings some of us have on Sundays. Your feedback is always welcome. Best
B

barbsdad2003

18 years 10 months ago

Crystals

I like your images hanging to catch the sun ... like crystals at the ends of strings Your interest in formal Creative Writing course(s) shines through in this piece ... and does that glintingly ... and brightly. Thanx for the pleasure read, Chuck