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I think this poem builds perfectly. There's a crescendo that starts right at the begining (at the writer's rising) and keeps going up as I go through the poem. It is frenetic, a cocaine trip, (not literally, just using alliteration)a corvette at 90 miles an hour. All that energy... just to get to the meeting room... and CRASH, then the slow burn at the end. While I was reading the begining and middle sections of this, I could picture the sped up video of driving through Tokyo, Japan. You know, how the street lights appear to zoom by?

I am still a bit pissed off with you for the Raven conceit, but I forgive you. Not magnaminously but in the face of the evidence of really good poetry. This poem alludes me to the dialogue you had with Mark about how you write. Which I do the same, usually it is basicly first draft. Won't change the meat. Or lose it..And there's more, love this piece cheers, Jess