Early Work - Annals of History - 1992

Today I watched as your flag
draped coffin was interred into the Earth.
I did not cry.
Rather, I prayed that you could
find a world that could either love
or hate you.
Today, my boss ordered the flag
in front of the store to be placed
at half-mast.
It was the first time it had been
up at all.
Today, I watched America ritualize
you. Ritualisation of a man who was
so ritualistically hated.
Today, I wondered if you’d do
it again for democracy, victory, or
the Great Wall of China.
Today, dignitaries gathered to pay
respects to you.
I doubted their sincerity.
Today, the pontiff praised you.
I always doubt his sincerity.
Today, the last shovelful of
dirt will bid you farewell.
Will welcome you back
to the annals of history.

— Conect11, Jun 17, 2007

Critiques

Word

19 years 1 month ago

Thanks

Hmm...reminded me of "Chronicle of a Death Foretold" This was nice, not you're best in the least, and not my favorite. While Im reading Im questioning if I should comment. How could I constructively critcize your piece objetively without trying to modify it to my liking. Impossibl`e, I mean I could leave you a bunch of comments and you could change it(not refering to grammatical errors or anything of the sort) but then it wouldn't be the your original. Poetry or any writing should evoke some feeling for the author. Hell most of it is mean't for the author, an intimate something that is expressed to impliment change, express for the hell of it or...to simply write down. Should I appreciate it for what it is and leave it alone? Write my interpretation and be done with it? Or bash, nit pick and consider it trvial because I was unable to connect with it? Hmm...I'm now afraid to take a poetry class in college (lol) All the rstrictions and mechanics will kill my creative spirit and flow. (Ahh..) Anywaysm enough with my nonsensical rambles that were pretty much 99% irrelevant Thanks for the read peace

Conect11

19 years 1 month ago

no

sweat, I had suggested to Joe and Jess, and now I'm offering you the same thing, that some of the more experienced poets post some of their work from early in their "careers" as a way to show some of the younger writers where they came from, that styles change and evolve. I won't modify this poem, not because "oh I love this poem!" lol, but because I consider it a dead piece of work. Thanks for the comment, appreciate it, Word. Mark

weirdelf

19 years 1 month ago

forgive my ignorance

As I said to Joe I don't think crit is relevant on early works. But I needed to know this was about Nixon, we ritualisticly hated him too, but his death passed without noticing. cheers

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