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W

Early Work-RehpiceD

Where are you when my writing doesn’t rhyme
The most simplistic line is the beholder of the concept everyone is suppose to
understand, comprehend, know, grasp or get
yet, not written in long fulfilling sentences but in 1 word paragraphs and phrases
My writing is not assonance or alliteration
Metaphors and similes are like the ideas of alien residing on earth to plan the assassination of cartoon characters
especially the symbolic meaning of the elephant and donkey
It is no longer an It
BUT a fetus being born into an unknown being that’s shared by many others
When history is in the past, But not really the past because shit always repeats itself with different scenarios as the body and the same organs as the message
Retardation is the status quo and the norm or whats considered the norm under all circumstances is abnormal
Confusion is not temporary but long lasting and hard to get rid of
The mind, my mind is imprisoned by puzzlement and sanity is the gate keeper
only releasing the thoughts of order when all will be understood because that is the mentality of most when my writing doesn’t rhyme
 "
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W

Word

18 years 10 months ago

Thanks

Thaks for the comment, I actually did want some constructive criticism.
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 10 months ago

joe

please, please stop commenting at all on peoples early works. They are there for the appreciation of peoples early vulnerabilities, that they have got over. To encourage new poets. Give new poets all the hell you want (while expecting to get shafted more badly than America did in Vietnam) But that is not the point of posting early works. Just my opinion but I feel strongly about it. Jess
weirdelf

weirdelf

18 years 10 months ago

Don't you get it?

I know you are not stupid, or i thought so. Some of us are posting our early works to show younger poets (some of who are already better than some of us) that it is ok to expose yourself poeticly. Without a didact looking judgementally over our shoulder. You know I agree with a lot of what you say but a lot is just plain wrong and utterly misses the point. You must know this is true by now. cheers
C

Conect11

18 years 10 months ago

thanks

Thanks Word, and everybody who's adding "early works!"