Bed of Serenity

Touch my face,
caress every inch of my skin,
come as close to me as possible,
fill my body within.
Close your eyes,
and whisper to me your fantasy,
let my passion flow into you,
become one with me.
Wrap your love around me,
tell me what you feel,
lay me down on your bed of serenity,
and your heart I’m going to seal.
Take your sweet time,
touch me everywhere,
undress me of all my clothes,
as if we had not a minute to spare.
Run your fingers
soft and slowly through my hair,
as you look into my eyes,
our bodies we begin to share.

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Comments

Conect11

18 years 10 months ago

ouch...

welcome to the site, I'm glad you're here. Gotta be honest, though, I just didn't "feel it" here, which is pretty difficult for a poem obstenably about sex.

dbaker

18 years 10 months ago

Your Poem

Babyblue, not a bad attempt at writing a sexually evocative piece. But it is structured, you have every other line ending in some form of rhyme. Joe's earlier comment about "cookie cutter poetry" is a bit harsh but in his defense it is honest. Show us what you really feel or want. I know how hard it is to post ANY poem in a public venue, but you did ask for our opinion. Take out the rhyming bits. See where that leaves you. I will reserve saying anything else here. IF you want to e-mail me or send a PM I will be happy to give my "Opinion" there. -David Work, stretch, take risks, visualize your future. Become the poet you have always longed to be. All that is needed is honest effort.-DSB

A. M. Painter

18 years 10 months ago

poetry and sex

hey, i like poetry, and i love sex, so the mixture of the two is perfect. i like it, i could never write about this type of stuff, its not really in my spectrum of poetic themes. but its a good peice for being what its about a.m. painter