The Red Fountain

But as others have commented, try writing without rhyme. Not that its bad in this one, I just somehow, instinctually feel its holding you back. And hey, while you get comments from other poets on this site remember we would value yours as well. There are already young, old, experienced and in- here. This could ideally be a place for sharing, as poets are not want to do. Look forward to your comments on my work. Cheers Jess

I happen to like this piece. The only comment about the rhyme is my own personal preference of not rhyming two verses in a row, last word. I always thought a poem flows easier when the first line ryhmes with the third or fourth depending how many verses per stanza. But the over write was very good. I enjoyed it. K. Mulroney

I happen to like this piece. The only comment about the rhyme is my own personal preference of not rhyming two verses in a row, last word. I always thought a poem flows easier when the first line ryhmes with the third or fourth depending how many verses per stanza. But the over write was very good. I enjoyed it. K. Mulroney

better than this, like the crazy Australian said you have a great poetic voice. I just happen to feel, reading this, like you wrote it in your High School english class. A for effort, C- for content.