Birth(update)

She spills ink like you drip melodies Trotting on sharp ridges Waiting to bleed rhythm That flows freely through a stream Of movement. Hips convulse While they… gyrate crazily to Beats of black sweat Moving pieces of puzzles to match imperfectly. Let your spoiled seed curdle her thighs and let dents of worn flesh expand until plains amongst plains have formed. she wants imperfection! nah Normalcy. she wants scars FUCK that Battle wounds. 42 hours and 15 minutes of impeding pulsating heart beats Endless pessimism Pretentious panting exuding throughout the nostrils of the y chromosone Screams whipped the sound waves her cries and my screams Her cries my screams criescream overlapped, Consolidated into One voice. Blinking placenta out of my eyes I was responsible for that hairless flesh below my mothers belly button

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Word

18 years 11 months ago

Oh...and

I do agree with you about the first stanza, I need to change the beginning of it. Thanks

Conect11

18 years 11 months ago

that was one hell of a birth!

have you ever read Sylvia Plath? This reminds me of the poems she wrote about her children, they had a disconnected feel to them... and YET, there is an explosiveness in this poem, much like childbirth has, the pain, emotion, even anger that emanates from the event and grips. I only know this from the experience of being in the room, of course. "I want imperfection!" That's one of those lines that I wish I had written. I've written similiar ideas, but that's the line I needed! "I want scars...F^%^ck that, battle wounds." That's poetry! I understand your non use of punctuation, trust me, I heartily applaud an author having their own voice. I just wonder if there are ways to at least incorporate some in there to indictate line break, pacing, etc.

Word

18 years 11 months ago

Thanks

Hmm...so I am assuming that if I wrote about a paper cut it would be a waste of time because it's such a trivial thing in a world filled with murder, rape, and Flecher Collins syndrome? You're obnoxious. Thanks for the comment

purplemoondoll

18 years 9 months ago

Great Imagery and Flow

Just found this and thought 'wow' love this and the way its written. She spills ink like you drip melodies Trotting on sharp ridges Waiting to bleed rhythm That flows freely through a stream Of movement. This is fantastic! Wow!