Incapable

 
I. 
 
I am speechless again
my lips forgot
what was on my mind.
I could throw my hands up,
or make my heels dirty.
Which do you prefer, oh love?
Which would you prefer, female stranger?
Which was the bigger lie, the white lie?
Did we not see each other at church,
in the sanctuary of God
where nothing was supposed to be this difficult?
I missed you in the sanctuary of God,
did you see me and turn away?
 
II.
 
Sind Sie von der Liebe unfähig, die ich benötige?
That option was gone when you were 19.
I never realized the extent of your damage
until I snuck in, unannounced.
You gave me a general apology:
"I am sorry if I hurt you early in our friendship."
I began to tell you
"you didn’t hurt me early in our friendship…"
and you interrupted me
before I could tell you
you were hurting me now.
So I left it at that,
my lips pursed yet again.
Sie sind von der Liebe unfähig, die ich benötige.
 
III.
 
See you on Thursday,
maybe this time we can get lost for a week,
early breakfasts, like we talked about,
or the half - hearted promises,
like we discussed.
The out of context statements do the most damage,
the emotional ones,
the hands on the stove knob,
the eyes that locked for a millisecond by the fridge
the night before the party,
before you swiftly pulled away.
What are you afraid of?
I miss who we are, not who we were
and I want to be grounded.
I will save you
if you will save me,
but does your brain work like that,
female stranger?
 
IV.
 
Sind Sie von der Liebe unfähig, die ich benötige?
Sehen Sie nicht die Weise voran?
Wo Sie Drama sehen, sehe ich tragödie,
Zwei weitere Kursteilnehmer Shakespeare
alles aber Liebe besprechend
und auf ihr Bezeichnungen