Psyve

Mar 14, 2007 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

IF FLOWERS STILL BLOOM IN BEIRUT

A chill cuts through my valley,

There’s whispers on the wind,

The air is rife with rumours:

Tonight more boys are coming in!

Silently, in pairs or single:

Some are men, some hardly boys.

Some, with money in their pockets,

Some, with bullets in their toys.

Too young to understand their orders,

But the children living there

Know Death comes across the borders:

Fear hangs heavy in the air…

Now, from every post and steeple:

Incendiary rhymes;

We’re just ordinary people

Thrust in most extraordinary times…

You and I, we love this land,

But, through our silence there,

The celebrated Foreign Hand

Has spread terror everywhere.

A poison in the water-holes:

A poison that now starts

Poisoning our very souls

And poisoning our hearts.

Though there’s thousands at the rally,

The trees now bear no fruit

And flowers die in my valley,

With poison at the roots…

Still, we hope, despite the Jackboot

And all that blind men do,

For, if flowers still grow in Beirut,

We may live to see them grow here, one day, too…

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Asia, India, IND

Favorite Poets: Leonard Cohen, Bob Dylan, Roger Waters, Jim Croce, Paul Simon (...albeit not necessarily in that order)

Comments

Conect11

17 years 3 months ago

don't know if this

is a pointless excersize, but I am trying to dig up old poems from the very begining of neopoet. A "dead poems" line, so to speak. I figure this can help all of us to practice our crit. I chose this poem because the title reminds me of a thought I've had recently. I like the questions you ask here, and you tackle a subject that has a lot of questions and no good answers. With that said there is a very, very simple meter employed here, and there's stumbling in some key spots, such as line four of stanza one, line four of stanza four, (one too many sylables) etc. "Some with bullets in their toys." I get what you're saying, I get that you needed to rhyme there, but I gotta tell ya, it just doesn't work for me. To each his own, I suppose. "Some are men, some hardly boys..." perhaps I am nit picking here, but usually males are boys from birth, so if they are hardly boys, would that make them transexuals? I truly am not making fun of this here, I'm just trying to help clear up the language usage. While there are alot of things that can be improved, I do feel you've tackled a difficult subject, this in itself shows alot of bravery. Good job! Mark W. Galatians 5:22-23 "22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. Against these, there is no law!" My favorite verse(s) in the Bible

Psyve

17 years 3 months ago

Response from Psyve

Mark, Thank you for taking the time to read and critique this piece. In fact, like most of my other work, including all my other "poems" on this site, this one too was really a SONG, not a poem, so I think meter was pretty much on my mind all the time as I wrote this. As regards the distinction I was drawing between "men" and "boys" it was more of an AGE issue than a GENDER one. If you care to listen to the SUNG version, you will find it at: http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6695118 Thanks again for taking the time to read and critique, Psyve

Conect11

17 years 3 months ago

Dear Psyve,

ok, that makes alot of sense then. I had no idea that you had intended to put this to music. From that standpoint the meter would work well. Thank you for the link, I will check it out. We haven't seen alot of work from you here lately, hope to see more soon. :) Mark W. Galatians 5:22-23 "22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. Against these, there is no law!" My favorite verse(s) in the Bible