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"I"
I do my best in school,
I have a dog,
I don't try to be cool,
But I still end up in the fog.
Sometimes my emotions don't make since,
I come home to a bunch of nonsince.
I try to help out a bit
But I don't have the time,
I try to do my school work,
I try to stay in line.
I don't want my life to be a waste,
every day I try to pick up the pace.
I try hard to make life better,
But it seems sometimes that it gets trown back in my face.
Iknow I'm appreciated,
but sometimes I wonder.
Sometimes I long for rain
So I can llisten to the soothing sound of thunder.
Sometimes my heart feels pain,
I feel as if I'm doing all this
And I have nothing to gain.
Sometimes I feel alone
even in my own home.
I love my family,
But sometimes they don't know whats inside of me.
Sometimes I feel lost...
I do my best in school,
I have a dog,
I don't try to be cool,
But I still end up in the Fog.
Comments
pinksheep
18 years 10 months ago
"I"
pinksheep
18 years 10 months ago
"I"
Mark
19 years 2 months ago
Hi ...
I don't like the title as it can mean a lot >I what?< In fact I do not like the word I in a title.
I don't like redundancy and you use the word I arond 24 times. I do not like the title in the body of the poem and you do this around 24 times as well. However I like the poetry ( what you are saying here) it is well thought through! I would continue to work on it - but that is me :-) JS makes good points as well - got to use that spell check and watch out for those words that sound alike but are spelled different. Keep on writing!!
Mark
18 years 7 months ago
All Four Years Of High School
IcePrincess
18 years 11 months ago
So familar
weirdelf
18 years 11 months ago
I
BrokenSoul
18 years 11 months ago
Good
sanjon123
18 years 10 months ago
Critique of your poem
storm400
18 years 10 months ago
poem
Prototype
18 years 8 months ago
Hi ownself,
IKnowNoBox
18 years 7 months ago
Prototype you hit the advice I wish a guidaince
Prototype
18 years 7 months ago
Well...
IKnowNoBox
18 years 7 months ago
The cycle is completed at the end of the poem.