Make Me a Dying Bed

I need more,

Another essence to disguise me from myself,

Calling out to all my chances thrown aside,

For sure, this life does have it's ups,

But much steeper downs,

Please tell me your joking,

In my head I think I heard someone say a promise.

Help me, get more,

Throw me a bone,

This drive me so weak till now,

Blood runs, Ice cold,

Knife life, white hot,

Dead but for what,

Burnout seemed so sweet till now,

Flags raise, Let's go home.

About This Poem

About the Author

Comments

Hopeless_J

19 years 3 months ago

BTW

I though I would just let any confused readers know that this poem is displayed exactly the way it's supposed to be. lines like "theis drive me so weak till now" are my atempt at being origianal. It's suppse to be said through a mind which is in discmfort and confusion, similarly a person may be tring to so "how do you do" and end up saying " do you what are you" or something like that. I don't know if anyones going to apprieciate it but I tried. Thanks for reading. (hopeless) Joey Cunningham Lennox

Cathy

19 years 3 months ago

Relate

I really liked this Joey.. Original it is.. And just the kind I like.. I think the more original you try to be in your writting the better the read... Yes we all go thru the same things.. However we have different storys.. Good job.. Cathy

Hopeless_J

19 years 3 months ago

Thanks again Cathy. I will

Thanks again Cathy. I will continue to read your work, because I feel although your in Texas or something and I in Great Brittain, we are on the same page. Which is pretty special. (hopeless) Joey Cunningham Lennox

Poetspoint360

19 years 3 months ago

RE: BTW

I think I get what you meant in your comment by " "how do you do" and end up saying " do you what are you" " it is like in America we say "Hi, How are you" One could look at that many different ways... A really rude and grumpy person might say..."How am I? How am I! I am because my parents wanted me to be that is how I am!!"... Another who is a religious finatic might say " I am how I am"...It's all about how you take it which brings me to my point. I really like your poetry this one included however I think you are taking some European culture and your local street slang and twisting them together into your poetry... this would be great for your friends or others who know what these sayings mean. But for someone reading them for the first time they might not understand as well. Here is an example of what I mean... HI Joey; did you here I was in a slamming contest against a guy last Saturday and won a T-shirt? Now you are probably laughing at me right now..I know you are... because in modern European slang this same statement would mean I am gay (among other things). However amongst the American poetry community this means I went head to head against a fellow poet in a poetry contest. See how quick something like that can get twisted?

Hopeless_J

19 years 3 months ago

Thanks man. Yeah, the

Thanks man. Yeah, the cultural differences really are amazing. Much aprieciated. (hopeless) Joey Cunningham Lennox