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take a bite
how many years will it take?
how many selves?
I take a bite
which parts are left to accept?
I know her
And i said sorry to her
Paid her a visit
Tried on her shoes
Too small
I undid the laces
Took them with me
Carried like armour
I know him;
his dreams
The stars in his eyes;
a swing from a tree by the river,
A bike path through the forest he visited a couple times a week
(alone)
Pretending.
his dark lit room.
I heed
-take a bite
Locked them out
or locked himself in
keeping secrets
One after another
snowballing-
there is nothing left to see
I lock myself in
I lock them all out
Safe here, safe now
Alone
I take a bite
What’s mine cannot also be yours
I don’t trust you
I keep hold
Guarded the sparkle in his eyes
It took years
But it’s since returned
I remember now
I take a bite
the dreams that follow you
the dreams you won’t let go
I keep hold
How many years?
How many selves?
which parts are left to accept?
nothing more to do
what is mine is not for you to approve
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
1 month 2 weeks ago
I found this...
compelling for more than one reason. I think I get "taking a bite". It's like taking a bite of their personality; their essence. Observation from afar, and in secret gives a person power.
If you decide to do something 'bad' with the information...
There is much truth in the statement: "what is mine is not for you to approve.".
"Guarded the sparkle in his eyes
It took years
But it’s since returned"
If this passage refers to the " I know him..." I would move it closer so that the association would be clearer. ~ Geezer.
.