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Clentin
Clentin
Sep 01, 2025 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature
This poem is part of the challenge:

09/25 Running out of time

(Read More...)

Time's Up

Passing
Pulse now slowing
Heart beats diminishing
Family clears tears from their eyes
Times Up

— Clentin, Sep 01, 2025

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: USA Pennsylvania, USA

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Critiques

whitetea

whitetea

10 months 3 weeks ago

Haunting. I love to read…

Haunting. I love to read first hand accounts of hospice workers to get an idea of the end of life and what it looks like from the outside. Well captured.

Rula

Rula

10 months 3 weeks ago

Hello Clentin

I thought this is a perfect example of a perfect cinquaine. 

Great job re the theme as well.

Thank you for sharing!

P.s. Did you mean  "Time's Up"

 

Lavender

Lavender

9 months 3 weeks ago

Time's Up

Hello, Clentin,

Pretty certain it's just me - I'm wondering if there may be a different way to state that the family is crying.   The imagery and action of "clears tears" and "time's up" together makes me a little uncertain if the grieving process might be over.  Again, probably just me...

I'll be back! Thank you!

L

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