godshouldnthave

Member since May 13, 2011

Member for 15 years

member

13 Poems

55 Comments

0 Followers

Most recent

The Cut Off

Posted Sep 3, 2020 · 38 lines · 1 critiques

Here us now all ye
Sandbaggers,
Coattail sniffers,
and Plagiarizers

We be on to ye
Copy/Pasters
Re-arrangers
and Content Takers.

Lazily daily you barrage
with trite questions and ponders.
Unwilling yourself to forage
for the attained wisdom of others.

Vocally promising goals
of soon reciprocated giving.

Read the rest of the poem Show less

Yet never stepping soles
to our path of earning this living.

Sore from heaving your weight
up and down flights of our success.
As you siphon off and imitate
fruits that blossom upon the best.

Get in the right lane
my tame mind sloth.
NO, Further over!

Remove your brain
from our plane of thought.
NO, Further under!

Never yet have we severed ties
with angry goodbyes,
But a forged promise river lies
to unremembered lives.

For you no more
can we harbor anguish.
A whisper roar
in every man’s language.

Shell screaming raid
of flailing liberation.
We burn the pity paved
bridge to our salvation.

godshouldnthave’s timeline

May 2026
13 Wed

Anniversary
15 years of membership
May 2021
13 Thu

Anniversary
10 years of membership
September 2020
04 Fri

Critiqued
"Callow Serenade..." by @Geezer
"Mrs. Robinson!"
04 Fri

Received a critique
on The Cut Off from @Geezer
"rip it off, when you offer it up? Nay, say I, it is an enigma, yet to be fathomed. I am reminded of the old saw: "There is nothing new under the sun". We just re-arrange it to our liking. ~ Geez. ."
03 Thu

Posted a poem
The Cut Off
"Here us now all ye"
Open thread 38 lines
03 Thu

Critiqued
"A Worm In The Apple..." by @Geezer
"This snake keeps hoping "HE" will be a rational and reasonable entity. The snake sees the trapped apes in a false menagerie of ignorance and does not see the point. You say the snake's Ego is inflated. But what about th…"
03 Thu

Critiqued
"Callow Serenade..." by @Geezer
"I read this aloud in a coy and darkly playful tone. It felt genuine as an interaction. Something I myself might say. Romance and cheese are close friends. For me it could have been a conversation between a Honey Bee and…"
August 2020
22 Sat

Received a critique
on Pretty Okay from @Geezer
"this to be haunted by so many thoughts of inadquacies, that I thought maybe it was just a foolish write and didn't deserve a comment. However, after reading it numerous imes, I began to see; that there is much more to i…"
20 Thu

Posted a poem
Pretty Okay
"I find it slightly strange"
Open thread 53 lines
18 Tue

Critiqued
"A Question Of If" by @c lynn brooks
"I read this a few times in a row. Each time I felt a bit more of my own forlorn relationships from the past projecting themselves upon your words. Your words helped me feel my own emotions and I suppose then process the…"
May 2016
13 Fri

Anniversary
5 years of membership
December 2013
20 Fri

Received a critique
on Teach. Teach your Parents well. from @scribbler
"Just time for a quick once over. I like the rhyme pattern which allowed more freedom of expression. I usually don't like repetitive line beginnings but it actually works here. I didn't have time to deduce the vague (at…"
June 2013
23 Sun

Received a critique
on Coming Soon!!! from @Ian.T
"I wonder what he should have done with this one, "god that is". But as a mere mortal it was confusing to read and though the words were strung together like buntings they failed to convey the picture to me. I shall wait…"
May 2013
05 Sun

Received a critique
on (tickle-tickle) from @weirdelf
"This workshop is now ended. Please give me feedback, either on the workshop thread http://www.neopoet.com/workshop/show-and-tell-intensive-critique-workshop or by PM, as to how you benefited from the workshop, criticism…"
April 2013
12 Fri

Critiqued
"Cenancestor" by @wesley snow
"I have been wrestling with a science geared friend of mine lately over his stance on an argument. He claims that science as an industry and a system of education is doing fine and that it does not lack imagination. This…"
09 Tue

Received a critique
on much argue about nothing. from @wesley snow
"but I can appreciate why Jess liked it so. It is clever and even subtle. Just not my cup of tea."
09 Tue

Received a critique
on much argue about nothing. from @weirdelf
"The concrete form belies the fact that it reads aloud gorgeously. Quite an achievement. There is something missing though. It is difficult for me to put my finger on it but perhaps it feels more clever than honest. Yeah…"
07 Sun

Received a critique
on (tickle-tickle) from @BlueDemon77
"I appreciate Jess standing up for me, however I do want to address it myself. No, I don't think a huge vocabulary equates to inner peace or happiness at the root of our being. Those factors are many and change from pers…"
07 Sun

Critiqued
"ONCE AND AGAIN (show and tell-Shark Pool)" by @Rula
"I am a content whore. I crave a critique of content here not because I want to see the poem ripped to pieces but because it allows us to understand the unique perspective of the person writing the critique. When you hav…"
06 Sat

Critiqued
"Pills, Restlessness & Prosody" by @William Saint George
"But instead of pills....you should eat some mushrooms and look into a mirror. You might find that gorgons are gorgeous creatures after all. Maybe you have just been programmed to think they are hideous. What would you d…"
06 Sat

Critiqued
"The Electric Bordeaux Acid Test" by @Josephus
"How many times? Not enough I'll wager Not enough :) This poem feels like my buzzing subconscious wrote it and expressed it to me within a momentary thought. Then I dismissed it as a fleeting smirk. Yet here many years l…"
06 Sat

Posted a poem
much argue about nothing.
"The tips of my fingers are the"
Open thread 33 lines
March 2013
02 Sat

Most-discussed work
Needle Man.

14 critiques to date.
02 Sat

Posted a poem
Needle Man.
"Needle man in horny hay stacks is"
Open thread 34 lines
February 2013
22 Fri

Posted a poem
Replace my Pounds with Fucks
"it is my"
Open thread 46 lines
December 2012
17 Mon

Posted a poem
A tiny text of lovely consequence
"What a whimsical world"
Open thread 27 lines
November 2012
29 Thu

Posted a poem
Demoneyes Me
"eye?"
Open thread 92 lines
16 Fri

First critique offered
on "Drones" by @Ian.T
16 Fri

Posted a poem
Teach. Teach your Parents well.
"ripped into existence,"
Open thread 28 lines
09 Fri

Posted a poem
Victory at Hand
"If you wanted the jouney"
Open thread 28 lines
05 Mon

First publication
Regretfully Yours
05 Mon

Posted a poem
Regretfully Yours
"to live"
Open thread 111 lines
May 2012
13 Sun

Anniversary
One year of membership
May 2011
13 Fri

Joined Neopoet
Membership begins

First poem published 542 days later.

About Me

About me

I came to NeoPoet about a decade ago. I was an accomplished visual artist yet I knew and still know nothing about poetry. I was under the impression that it was a great place to question morality, inspire the youth, practice self-inquiry, and to explore structures of words that had not previously been combined. I was wrong. It is a place with rules. Follow those rules and people will give you verbose "likes" and pat you on the head. I came here looking to improve my mind's trajectory in the world. This was met with overwhelming opposition. I left 7 years ago and decided to teach myself the piano and how to compose music. There in the vibrations of my own melodies I found peace. No longer disillusioned with the notion that my elders could learn from me as much as I could learn from them. But through my songs I have had a tiny tiny bit of success. Success is making people feel emotions beyond their own words and far beyond ego. Now I return to NeoPoet. I do not care what I get out of it. Surprise me. www.foolishmale.com

Location: West Coast North America

Contest Wins

This member has not yet won any contests.

Workshops

		Skill level:
Show And Tell: Intensive Critique Workshop	(syllabus)	Shark Pool	Started 2013-02-28	Concluded

15 years of membership

10 years of membership

"Callow Serenade..." by @Geezer

on The Cut Off from @Geezer

"A Worm In The Apple..." by @Geezer

"Callow Serenade..." by @Geezer

on Pretty Okay from @Geezer

"A Question Of If" by @c lynn brooks

5 years of membership

on Teach. Teach your Parents well. from @scribbler

on Coming Soon!!! from @Ian.T

on (tickle-tickle) from @weirdelf

"Cenancestor" by @wesley snow

on much argue about nothing. from @wesley snow

on much argue about nothing. from @weirdelf

on (tickle-tickle) from @BlueDemon77

"ONCE AND AGAIN (show and tell-Shark Pool)" by @Rula

"Pills, Restlessness & Prosody" by @William Saint George

"The Electric Bordeaux Acid Test" by @Josephus

on "Drones" by @Ian.T

One year of membership

Membership begins

About Me

Recent Work

Contest Wins

Workshops

Followed By