GavinPay

Member since January 21, 2016

Member for 10 years, 4 months

member

5 Poems

10 Comments

3 Followers

Most recent

Kitchen Table

Posted Jan 30, 2016 · 7 lines · 1 critiques

Another sleepless night spent at the kitchen table,
waiting for morning to come so that I am able to breathe again.
It's flat, like my chest, as I hold my breathing to rest
while the suppressed heart beneath my lungs is trying its best
to repent.

I have failed you, my heart cries.
I failed you, too, I realize.

GavinPay’s timeline

January 2026
21 Wed

Anniversary
10 years of membership
January 2021
21 Thu

Anniversary
5 years of membership
January 2017
21 Sat

Anniversary
One year of membership
September 2016
24 Sat

Received a critique
on Apoptosis, But More Explodey from @Esker
"why I used to have a notepad or write on napkins or draw ideas..the creative fires would get going..sing at work while I did things about the house.. the quiet ones would shuss me knocking me down off that happy high..t…"
24 Sat

Received a critique
on Kitchen Table from @Esker
"I turn to a higher power when I am most flattened which happens often And I sit and hold the ship the table with maps and knowledge the safe meal place where company sits.. Hanging on till daylight and hope returns a go…"
August 2016
17 Wed

New follower
@drewdionp
January 2016
31 Sun

New follower
@Rula
30 Sat

Posted a poem
Kitchen Table
"Another sleepless night spent at the kitchen table,"
Open thread 7 lines
30 Sat

Received a critique
on Dimes from @alidzain
"Just checking out other poets' works. Love the rhyming pattern. If words are mere words, without feeling, just facts or lies that are spoken than beauty is what they lack. Words can shape the mind, start a revolution or…"
27 Wed

New follower
@lovedly
27 Wed

Critiqued
"Didn't God Make me to Survive?" by @Conect11
"Hello. This poem reflected some of my more recent thoughts, and I thank you writing such an enjoyable and relatable poem. The ants and elephants are tough, but haven't quite been surviving for billions of years, though…"
27 Wed

Critiqued
"sub astute" by @Esker
"'we is where it is at' It is certainly also this poem where it is at. Great work! Lots of fun among a serious poem. Thank you, friend."
27 Wed

Critiqued
"just Lovely eyes " by @lovedly
"My eyes enjoyed this poem greatly. I found it to be very cute and precious and... lovely. Thank you, friend."
27 Wed

Posted a poem
Apoptosis, But More Explodey
"I’d like to blow minds"
Open thread 10 lines
25 Mon

Critiqued
"There is No Fairy in this Tale" by @eightmenout
"Hello! I love the title and this poem as a whole. Thank you for the time and effort. The first stanza works well. The second stanza feels less impactful, at least for me. I feel that the rhythm get lost as I read the la…"
25 Mon

Posted a poem
Dimes
"His words were from dime stores,"
Open thread 12 lines
24 Sun

Received a critique
on Limit from @alidzain
"First of all, welcome to our community. Sorry, I know I'm late. Thanks for the explanation. In truth, I'm just as lost as Rula when I first read it. I wonder if it will be better if you start with the action on the firs…"
23 Sat

Critiqued
"The Lost Soul" by @alidzain
"Hello! I enjoyed reading this poem, and look forward to reading more of your work. My only critique is the same as Rula's. Otherwise, great job!"
23 Sat

Received a critique
on Limit from @Rula
"and a warm welcome to the Neopoet. Always good to see new faces with fresh writing. not sure I got what you wanted to say in your poem. The eyes, did they cause some fear? What is their source? May be its only me, but I…"
22 Fri

Received a critique
on Trees from @lovedly
"how I am glad you saved your professor from a murder be briefer for applause else only Snow man will love you none else in due course"
22 Fri

Critiqued
"As Shadows Fall" by @Sparrow
"Hello, Ian! I've been reading your works and this one really stuck with me. I adore the line 'I have had to start me all over again'. My only other comments are that I enjoyed reading this poem, and that I look forward…"
22 Fri

Posted a poem
Limit
"Headlights stuck behind me,"
Open thread 23 lines
22 Fri

Critiqued
"If only" by @drewdionp
"Hello! This was a truly emotional poem, and is also the first one that I am commenting on. There were a few grammatical quirks I noticed, including: 'One second were driving' on Line 8 (we're? or we were?) 'good by' on…"
22 Fri

First critique offered
on "If only" by @drewdionp
22 Fri

Received a critique
on Trees from @Sparrow
"There are two kinds of rest, two pines in a forest of crestfallen dreams, Scattering their needles at my feet, whilst the golden leaves of Autumn float past my eyes. The dance of autumn shows its face... Many ways to ex…"
22 Fri

Received a critique
on Trees from @Esker
"and I like trees like the careful dynamic pacing and introduction with each ending line to the next a friend knows trees and medicinal qaulities of the bark and needles me not so much! thank U"
21 Thu

First publication
Trees
21 Thu

Posted a poem
Trees
"There are two kinds of rest, two pines in a forest"
Open thread 32 lines
21 Thu

Joined Neopoet
Membership begins

First poem published 1 days later.
15 Fri

Highest posting month
January 2016 — 5 poems