Captain

Member since May 16, 2017

Member for 9 years

member

20 Poems

92 Comments

1 Follower

Most recent

What kind of dust are you?

Posted Dec 9, 2020 · 79 lines · 6 critiques

I've never heard that song
So, how have i?
Those patterns are calling. Put it back together. Like this:
You say it, I hear it
Let's take this stardust and rebuild it all
You, me. Rally cry
Here is your inch, here is mine
Piece by piece, breath ny breath
One choice at a time.

I've never seen that painting
So, how have i?
And how did you know, i was always going to see it that way?
Monet, you, and me.
Yes, overlay all time in a single frame

Read the rest of the poem Show less

How else could you see
The truth or lack of it?
Or, long for clarity
And thus find it?

I never knew you, my freind
Across the oceans.
That's just water, that's just land
That's just atmosphere
And our blood and bones
Thats just us, or
It's just us, the redeemers
The tabulators

Somehow you know i will magically see you,
As you scribe down your words
Alone in a room i will never see
Across all the spaces
We can imagine up
This music will cut it all away
And we can hold on
Finally, to something
A hand reaching out.

Piece by piece
Inch by inch
Breath by breath
Choice by choice
I choose you
My freind, my lover
My father and mother
My little nephew and niece
My stranger
Old dead bones under everything
By sun and moon, I don't care which
I choose you
Let's all go home

And if you say no, my Artist
It's okay anyway

Ill be fine, hands tied at the gallows
Ill say hi
How was your day?
Goodbye, old friend
Goodbye, you aren't wrong
I've seen hills, ive seen
Fields and trickling waters
I've seen you
As a child, running up with arms out
I've been up to the mountain top
And washed the pots and glasses
Down in the dungeon
And i saw you,
My executioner
Crying in the corners
Walking circles in the rain
Too scared to go home
It's all in the wash now
Lets go
Ill lean into the rope
And kick the horse under me
Sleep well tonight, my freind

Stardust forgives ordinary dust
And dust forgives dirt
And dirt forgives hero's
Vise versa, and
Vera vise, until in the blender
It's all one thing
Back to the stars

Captain’s timeline

May 2022
16 Mon

Anniversary
5 years of membership
December 2020
10 Thu

Received a critique
on What kind of dust are you? from @Geezer
"I liked the conversation with the unseen friend. I liked the part where you speak of the friend writing in a room you will never see. I have those friends too. And I guess we all have an executioner waiting in the wings…"
10 Thu

Received a critique
on What kind of dust are you? from @lovedly
"I never knew you, my freind Across the oceans.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> That's just water, that's just land That's just atmosphere And our blood and bones That's just us, or It's just us, the redeemers The tabulators yo…"
10 Thu

Received a critique
on What kind of dust are you? from @Geezer
"Nice stuff to bring with you. I got to run, but I'll be back. ~ Geezer. ."
09 Wed

Posted a poem
What kind of dust are you?
"I've never heard that song"
Open thread 79 lines
November 2020
05 Thu

Received a critique
on Run from @Lavender
"Your poem has my interest! I would like to know more about the 1973 reference! Thank you, Lavender"
04 Wed

Critiqued
"ONE MORE FOR AUTUMN" by @lovedly
"Loved Ly Indeed Across what seas? Where are you? My Autumn freind? Red and brown leaves fall here too Do they fall for all? Probably In some way Somehow Do you remember me? The Captain?. I want to write again. Like a dr…"
04 Wed

Critiqued
"I Wonder" by @Lavender
"Beautiful. Nuf said."
May 2018
16 Wed

Anniversary
One year of membership
February 2018
26 Mon

Received a critique
on Too Many Slogans (sunku) from @IRiz
"Welcome to the workshop Your mysterious sunku will be my food for thought. Bye for now, I am off skiing"
26 Mon

Posted a poem
Too Many Slogans (sunku)
"Too Many Slogans"
Open thread 10 lines
15 Thu

Received a critique
on Old Love (is this Haiku?) from @Obadiah Grey
"Hiya Capt. Its about as far away as you can get from, Haiku. It is however, beautifully ambiguous in nature and gravid with poetic phrases. "I loved her so much It washed my My skin off" -- redolent of "Sylvia Plath". E…"
14 Wed

Received a critique
on Old Love (is this Haiku?) from @IRiz
"good free form but not haiku haiku is a short poem that is mostly about objective things around us and how we interact/react to it. often it contains two parts strikingly colliding the two it is very short and often fal…"
14 Wed

Received a critique
on Old Love (is this Haiku?) from @Eumolpus
"about Haiku, not my thing, but i do believe it is a simple self contained verse of so many lines in so many syllables in which images are asked to expand into each other on a given subject. So I will just look at this a…"
14 Wed

Critiqued
"THE SMILE" by @Eumolpus
"I know this forum is supposed to be about constructive critique, but I just don't have any criticism. You had me at the first line...unkempt humanity. I cant say more."
02 Fri

Posted a poem
last, Last Drink
"I remember to look up"
Open thread 230 lines
January 2018
22 Mon

Critiqued
"POETS' PURPOSE" by @scribbler
"I enjoyed this one."
22 Mon

Critiqued
"ALL AT ONCE" by @Eumolpus
"That last paragraph is key. Hmm. re-thinking the rest from the perspective of death taking everything at once...if your not careful and want to much to soon? I think of sacrifice, and patience, and if you posses those y…"
22 Mon

Critiqued
"Welcome, but..." by @Geezer
"You got me wondering whom exactly your talking about. My imagination can fill in a whole lot. This poem has a nice rhythm to it. The only spot I got a little hung up was at the three lines and they will not tolerate any…"
14 Sun

Critiqued
"She" by @lovedly
"This is a standout. I'll have to come back to it when I have more time to think about it. It deserves some of my attention! Captain"
14 Sun

Critiqued
"My life is a poem" by @IRiz
"ahha! Shakespeare. I haven't read any in years, but now it makes sense and it works nicely with your poem. I don't think a few riddles in poetry are bad, as long as its possible for a reasonable knowledgeable person to…"
14 Sun

New follower
@IRiz
13 Sat

Posted a poem
Summer camp, Thermodynamics, and God
"Watching the other kids board the bus"
Open thread 43 lines
06 Sat

Posted a poem
Kicking Rocks
"I remember kicking rocks"
Open thread 101 lines
December 2017
22 Fri

Posted a poem
A Sled Hill
"I can’t figure out why I never got bored"
Open thread 25 lines
July 2017
02 Sun

Most-discussed work
La vacante en Cabo

15 critiques to date.
02 Sun

Posted a poem
La vacante en Cabo
"The noon sun pours down"
Open thread 102 lines
01 Sat

Posted a poem
Churchill (for June Contest)
"Churchill"
Open thread 21 lines
May 2017
27 Sat

Posted a poem
How To Become Honest
"I love driving stakes"
Open thread 10 lines
21 Sun

Posted a poem
Fair Weather Girl
"You’re much too late"
Open thread 42 lines
20 Sat

First critique offered
on "Subliminal Hackle" by @Esker
18 Thu

Posted a poem
Old Flood
"I used to write poems,"
Open thread 28 lines
17 Wed

First publication
Vault
17 Wed

Posted a poem
Vault
"Vault."
Open thread 82 lines
16 Tue

Joined Neopoet
Membership begins

First poem published 1 days later.

About Me

About me

Just an amateur here. Trying to sort some things out by writing them down. This is my therapy I suppose. Thanks for reading.

Location: Arizona, USA, USA

Favorite Poets

Billy Collins

Mary Oliver

EE Cummings

Contest Wins

This member has not yet won any contests.

Workshops

		Skill level:
Sunku: beyond rhyme and rhythm, search for new structures in short form	(syllabus)	Wading Pool, Splash Pool, Olympic Pool, Shark Pool, Plunge Pool	Started 2018-02-11	Concluded
Poets first poems	(syllabus)	Splash Pool	Started 2017-06-23	Concluded

Followed By

IRiz

5 years of membership

on What kind of dust are you? from @Geezer

on What kind of dust are you? from @lovedly

on What kind of dust are you? from @Geezer

on Run from @Lavender

"ONE MORE FOR AUTUMN" by @lovedly

"I Wonder" by @Lavender

One year of membership

on Too Many Slogans (sunku) from @IRiz

on Old Love (is this Haiku?) from @Obadiah Grey

on Old Love (is this Haiku?) from @IRiz

on Old Love (is this Haiku?) from @Eumolpus

"THE SMILE" by @Eumolpus

"POETS' PURPOSE" by @scribbler

"ALL AT ONCE" by @Eumolpus

"Welcome, but..." by @Geezer

"She" by @lovedly

"My life is a poem" by @IRiz

on "Subliminal Hackle" by @Esker

Membership begins

About Me

Recent Work

Contest Wins

Workshops

Followed By