captain 2

Member since July 31, 2024

Member for 1 year, 10 months

Premium member

12 Poems

73 Comments

4 Followers

Most recent

She'll be inside, mostly

Posted Sep 30, 2024 · 29 lines · 7 critiques

But it might be too cold
Out there, papa!
And wont the landlord know?
If she’s inside, papa?

Don’t you want the kitty,
Little one?

I do papa. So much!

Then trust me,
Little one
You just pet the kitty,
That’s all you need to do
Just pet the kitty.

His voiced cracked
And his hands shook

Read the rest of the poem Show less

Tears gathered
He wiped them with his sleeve
Staring across the busy street
Out into the fields

She remembered now
30 years later
As the same autumn winds blew
Through the same creaky porch
Open to the raw world
And the new
Strange, smelly brut of a man
Called her back inside.
She didn’t want to go.
Where was her papa?
Where did everyone go?

captain 2’s timeline

March 2026
27 Fri

New follower
@Lavender
July 2025
31 Thu

Anniversary
One year of membership
October 2024
16 Wed

Received a critique
on Under The Boardwalk from @Leslie
""Soon Oh soon the light, pass within and soothe this endless night" There is so much light and goodness here. I felt like I was going home to my wife and family. This is what I took from your beautiful poem! I remember…"
03 Thu

Critiqued
"Omaha Beach Landing 1944 (second edit)" by @Candlewitch
"It seems your mind has been on the same history as mine lately. When I wrote my poem about the boardwalk last week, I had images of my very grandfather running onto this exact beach. He never said a word about it, but a…"
01 Tue

Received a critique
on She'll be inside, mostly from @Lavender
"Hello, Captain, Such a strong melancholy feeling, such a sense of hopelessness. The title is intriguing - not so much about the kitty at all, it seems. Almost haunting in its nature. Thank you! L"
01 Tue

Received a critique
on She'll be inside, mostly from @Candlewitch
"This poem, in beginning the daughter has a kind and loving father, who is also protective. I wonder about the kitty...? for some strange reason, I thought the kitty was dead. thirty years later she is married to someone…"
01 Tue

Received a critique
on She'll be inside, mostly from @Leslie
"Sounds like a little girl who loved a kind, caring father. Thirty years later abandonded by her own hope. I can't see anything that I would change. Great job, hope your family is well!"
September 2024
30 Mon

Critiqued
"Yesterday " by @kowque
"This feels like a deep and simple explanation of some kind of OCD. Anxiety over some small things causing you to miss your life. I don't know, but it feels like that to me. Great poem! best, Captain"
30 Mon

Posted a poem
She'll be inside, mostly
"But it might be too cold"
Open thread 29 lines
30 Mon

Critiqued
"Little Girl Eating Pink Ice Cream" by @Lavender
"lavender, your poem reminds me of this, my favorite poem of all time The Red Wheelbarrow by William Carlos Williams so much depends upon a red wheel barrow glazed with rain water beside the white chickens."
28 Sat

Critiqued
"Little Girl Eating Pink Ice Cream" by @Lavender
"I actually think that is the best poem I have read on this site! I would just ruin it if I tried to express why it's so good. It's just everything that life is -- to me, expressed so simply and perfectly."
28 Sat

Critiqued
"The break of dawn " by @Edward nigma
"great poem! Into the tenderness, of twilight. I hope it's like that. I love short poems that pack massive punch. Best, Captain"
28 Sat

Critiqued
"DEATH " by @Jokerface82
"I enjoyed reading this - despite the subject matter. I found it very crafty and thought provoking! Well done! Best, captain"
23 Mon

Received a critique
on Under The Boardwalk from @LilacsandLace
"My grandparents married in 1946 in England and came to Canada in 1947 after both having been in the war. Grandpa was in Germany until he got injured, then was on modified duty in a dispatch office, where he met my grand…"
23 Mon

Received a critique
on Under The Boardwalk from @Rula
"Nice to meet you. I read this a couple of times. I am not a big fan of free verse, but this worked well for me. I enjoyed the tenderness and the specific details Then I read this line "Your weight was the most real thin…"
22 Sun

Posted a poem
Under The Boardwalk
"I remember the year"
Open thread 39 lines
22 Sun

Received a critique
on Occupied from @LilacsandLace
"Overediting can indeed by an enemy! I appreciate this poem's simplicity and yet the deeper themes it explores. "Across the edge of the universe Through an atomic black sea Piercing the fabric of matter Through my skin S…"
21 Sat

Received a critique
on Occupied from @Candlewitch
"I Too, like your poem, just the way it is! It gets down to the nitty/gritty of the question on everybody's mind! I would not change a word of it! my favorite lines are: Reaching in – the will, free Reaching down deep Lo…"
21 Sat

Critiqued
"Septembers denial!" by @Leslie
"This poem expertly skirts the surface of life’s daily struggles, to hint at the iceberg of pain and chaos under the surface. The heartbreak of a child trying, of giving up, of joining activities sometimes just to cover…"
20 Fri

Critiqued
"Bootstrap Escape (finally home)" by @Candlewitch
"Candle, Having the privilege of knowing your childhood story, this poem strikes me with a powerful punch of rejoice and victory! Well, done! You have your story straight and in order, and you are the master of your univ…"
20 Fri

Posted a poem
Occupied
"So, here"
Open thread 42 lines
20 Fri

New follower
@LilacsandLace
19 Thu

Posted a poem
Dinner time
"Metal spoons ping"
Open thread 84 lines
15 Sun

Highest posting month
September 2024 — 6 poems
09 Mon

Posted a poem
I Miss My Mom
"I’m already there"
Open thread 28 lines
02 Mon

Posted a poem
Savannah, I will this, To you
"To walk in the sand at sunset,"
Open thread 262 lines
August 2024
29 Thu

New follower
@Leslie
29 Thu

Posted a poem
(The man asked for 5 dollars, and his eyes...)
"I already died once"
Open thread 43 lines
24 Sat

Posted a poem
Fireball
"I like to drink"
Open thread 85 lines
22 Thu

Most-discussed work
Viking with a car seat, in a broke down Ford F250

16 critiques to date.
22 Thu

Posted a poem
Viking with a car seat, in a broke down Ford F250
"All is quiet on this western"
Open thread 39 lines
22 Thu

New follower
@Candlewitch
20 Tue

Posted a poem
2nd Law Man
"We are born"
Open thread 22 lines
July 2024
31 Wed

First critique offered
on "Your Whispered Name" by @Kristen H.
31 Wed

First publication
Just Another Creature? (since unpublished)
31 Wed

Joined Neopoet
Membership begins

First poem published 1 days later.

About Me

About me

I enjoy reading and writing poems, and I'm hoping to improve my writing skills on Neopoet. I also hope to be of some use and at least encouragement to other writers on this site who have the courage to share their poems.

Location: phoenix usa

Favorite Poets

Bukowski

Mary Oliver

E.E. Cummings

Billy Collins

L.Cohen

Contest Wins

This member has not yet won any contests.

Workshops

Followed By

One year of membership

on Under The Boardwalk from @Leslie

"Omaha Beach Landing 1944 (second edit)" by @Candlewitch

on She'll be inside, mostly from @Lavender

on She'll be inside, mostly from @Candlewitch

on She'll be inside, mostly from @Leslie

"Yesterday " by @kowque

"Little Girl Eating Pink Ice Cream" by @Lavender

"Little Girl Eating Pink Ice Cream" by @Lavender

"The break of dawn " by @Edward nigma

"DEATH " by @Jokerface82

on Under The Boardwalk from @LilacsandLace

on Under The Boardwalk from @Rula

on Occupied from @LilacsandLace

on Occupied from @Candlewitch

"Septembers denial!" by @Leslie

"Bootstrap Escape (finally home)" by @Candlewitch

September 2024 — 6 poems

on "Your Whispered Name" by @Kristen H.

Just Another Creature? (since unpublished)

Membership begins

About Me

Recent Work

Contest Wins

Workshops

Followed By