I am a dreamer:
I put pen to paper and will it to happen;
it never does...
it never proves me right...

Emotions cloud my judgement,
Forgiveness a second nature:
Only pain is returned
my reflection is of a girl covered dirt...

My heart is sucked dry,
every emotion gone.
i am the shell of the girl that used to be,
a girl wishing on a star

I'm so sleepy
my hands falling when I play games
my head bobbing when I read
I'm drowsy from all the medication in my system
sugar, glaucoma, heart, cholesterol, pain
is what's consumed on a daily
now Antibiotics to kill the infection
cycling my body for months and months
tomorrow that broken tooth comes out.

Nothing I do shakes
these narcoleptic days.

It used to be under the bed,
in the closet and in my head.
A harmless figment
of an imagination,
exaggerated by the mind
of a little child.

These days, it is real
it is what I feel,
the darkness residing inside.
In my heart, is where it hides,
waiting to be unleashed,
demanding to be released
in a moment of weakness
when I am helpless
it will strike like a viper,
the terrible monster

seeking
happier
pastures

green
flowing
sappy
with hope

and soft
supple
nights where
world weary dreams
no longer
stomp
and demand;
the spell, broken
the strive, forsaken

rips and tears on my life map
had exposed a failing cynicism
(the hard, hip, city bred kind);
cracked
crumbling
debased;
every residual fragment
now swept
swirling
into the great
anywhere-but-here

foreplay
words drip from the faucet reciever
legs ajar
the rise found with wrist
and fingertips

finding push button long distant calls
on the local carrier

He's bored..running paperwork files
smoking a cigarette
and balancing a jug
sucking hungry
feeling the glow slip down
harsh and settle roaring
like a slow fire

the nudge against his thigh
the black worn jeans
a smile growing hearing
the sweet voice
the gameplay

cat biscuits
cat biscuits
must not forget
or the blighters
‘ill howl
till your mind
Is their pet

Sitting under an apple tree,
she and me
wondering
which apple to taste first

one up on the tree
or the one,
one yet can't see
hidden in the bushes
of my friend ye...

Then she smiled
how’s apple feeling?
under her blushes
my mouth started watering
and
what an appeal
she did my heart steal
and
under the bushes
we did play
and
let tree apples
where they were stay

what delicious apple said she
Remember
Adam and Eve

Think of me,
when my voice no longer speaks.
Remember me
when my heart no longer beats

You know I wish
I could keep you company
in a song of bliss
but I'm feeling too weak

When mechanics
help my heartbeats
I will be sick
and close to defeat'

So be my voice
when I am away

1.
I have heard your whisper and glass rattle of chilled jade.
2.
I have heard your grained applause under the floorboards.
3.
I have eaten these kitsch doll parts you have buried under the cemetery's rune marks. One more!
4.
On my morning walks, I have seen the egg white of your eyes flip...shells breaking on the sea shore...remember?.
5.
So here I am, staring upward as always. I see your face in the clouds, the blue and red...you always distracted me from my meetings.