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the stars in your eyes
You quietly put out your cigarette
and you speak so quietly,
so quietly that your voice echoes
under the moon and only I can hear it.
You quietly put out your cigarette
and laugh quietly.
A laugh without which the cold overwhelms me and
I cannot smile.
You quietly put out your cigarette
and you look at me so quietly
with eyes where stars are born
and warmth is carried
and I am no longer homeless.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
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