RAH

Member since October 28, 2022

Member for 3 years, 7 months

member

8 Poems

12 Comments

0 Followers

Most recent

The Octopus

Posted Nov 9, 2022 · 14 lines

The octopus. How miraculous.
Three hearts and suckers galore.
It sidles, silent and slimy;
it knows how to open your door.

I'd like to be that fabulous,
seduction would be a breeze.
One tenticle round her waist
while the rest can do as they please.

There's a downside to being tremulous,
changing colour to banish all fears.
During sex the male may be strangled
and both only live for two years!

Octopuses or octopi? Grill or stir-fry?
Scrumptous pickled, friendly when tickled.

RAH’s timeline

October 2023
28 Sat

Anniversary
One year of membership
November 2022
15 Tue

Received a critique
on These Memories from @Rosewood Apothecary
"Absolutely gorgeous. Love that repetitive line. Love how you say it and three stanzas. I love it Tim"
11 Fri

Critiqued
"Crossing the Field" by @Steven Klepeis
"Not sure about detachment, ( to vague an abstraction) and developers, ( too obvious.). I also thought the mood could be better conveyed by a longer line but that's just a thought. It's a fine poem. Lots of originality."
09 Wed

Posted a poem
The Octopus
"The octopus. How miraculous."
Open thread 14 lines
07 Mon

Received a critique
on Something And Nothing from @Geezer
"I have the feeling that I have just experienced some deja vu! Ha, a pun of sorts! Yeah, I get what you are saying. A sort of inside-out kind of thing. At first, I thought to correct you with the use of [drear] thinking…"
05 Sat

Posted a poem
Something And Nothing
"When a child I thought I could"
Open thread 18 lines
03 Thu

Received a critique
on Low Battery from @Ray Whitaker
"The commentary within is really great. Mirrors sometimes turn us into deamons that do nothing but criticize - i have one in my bathroom that is paticularily mean. Welcome back to our site."
03 Thu

Received a critique
on 24 July from @lovedly
"to know more .. you have composed poetry for 50 I over 70 Lets be readers of each Read Gees latest VIEWS ''Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.''' BE NOT AFRAID JUST continue be a poeyet if…"
02 Wed

Received a critique
on 24 July from @Geezer
"I didn't get the last line, I had to read it over a couple of times; but then... I supposed that in drawing the tree so often, and feeling so very close with it, it could actually feel like a selfie. I really connected…"
02 Wed

Critiqued
"KAREN edited" by @Ray Whitaker
"I should have said more, that it is only a sugggestion, implying that the list of places is too much, I was thinking that each place could be listed but with much less detail. My main crit is the feeling and message get…"
02 Wed

Posted a poem
24 July
"LIke a rockslide, tiny cracks at first,"
Open thread 13 lines
02 Wed

Critiqued
"KAREN edited" by @Ray Whitaker
"People you meet, shoes shuffling, avoiding the crush of passers by, looking in shop windows at the illusion of you. Is Karen really back,? Is she hiding out ? Frumpled on a couch, a pillow, watching tv, Or looking out a…"
02 Wed

Critiqued
"KAREN edited" by @Ray Whitaker
"People you meet, shoes shuffling, avoiding the crush of passers by, looking in shop windows at the illusion of you. Is Karen really back,? Is she hiding out ? Frumpled on a couch, a pillow, watching tv, Or looking out a…"
01 Tue

Received a critique
on Low Battery from @Rosewood Apothecary
"God I feel like my battery is low a lot. And I relate to a bit of these things personally. How the crooked couch cushion threatens to assault you peace but you don’t have the energy to feel any particular way about it…"
October 2022
31 Mon

Critiqued
"The Story of Black..." by @Geezer
"I think the meter is clunky in parts and some words could be omitted, 'just' 'bit' and 'him' which is repeated in S3 Ls 3,4. S2 and S6 repeat the same info. A fun poem about animals. I find reading formal poems aloud is…"
31 Mon

Received a critique
on Church from @Ray Whitaker
"I like this poem, it finds good company here on Neopoet. Looking forward to reading more of your work!"
31 Mon

Posted a poem
Low Battery
"Old photos. A cushion crooked on a chair."
Open thread 17 lines
31 Mon

Critiqued
"a Woman's Scorn (sonnet)" by @Triskelion
"I would not put sonnet in the title, the form annouces itself. The poem is slightly archaic in language and sentence structure, perhaps that was deliberate? I read this several times, it is beautifully wrought. Made me…"
31 Mon

First critique offered
on "a Woman's Scorn (sonnet)" by @Triskelion
29 Sat

Received a critique
on Church from @Rosewood Apothecary
"Having been raised Catholic I understand this intimately. I love the rhythm, it is really crisp and it’s original. Keep writing! Tim"
28 Fri

First publication
Church
28 Fri

Posted a poem
Church
"My tears well up as the children play,"
Open thread 13 lines
28 Fri

Joined Neopoet
Membership begins

First poem published 1 days later.

About Me

About me

Have been on Neopoet before, been writing for 50 years, mainly critique now and prose works rather than poems.

RAH

The Octopus

RAH’s timeline

One year of membership

on These Memories from @Rosewood Apothecary

"Crossing the Field" by @Steven Klepeis

The Octopus

on Something And Nothing from @Geezer

Something And Nothing

on Low Battery from @Ray Whitaker

on 24 July from @lovedly

on 24 July from @Geezer

"KAREN edited" by @Ray Whitaker

24 July

"KAREN edited" by @Ray Whitaker

"KAREN edited" by @Ray Whitaker

on Low Battery from @Rosewood Apothecary

"The Story of Black..." by @Geezer

on Church from @Ray Whitaker

Low Battery

"a Woman's Scorn (sonnet)" by @Triskelion

on "a Woman's Scorn (sonnet)" by @Triskelion

on Church from @Rosewood Apothecary

Church

Church

Membership begins

About Me

Recent Work

The Octopus

Something And Nothing

24 July

Low Battery

Church

Contest Wins

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