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Raven Maelstrom
Member since August 23, 2013
Member for 12 years, 9 months
Lullaby Heart
Gluttonous loneliness chews and grinds
upon the lifeline of borrowed time
sumptuously feeding all day and night
beyond drawn curtains of human sight.
Remorseless persistent depression
invades
accompanied by pantomimed dark
charades
silent suffering voices fear to
speak
from rusted armored shells so paper
weak.
Dying shadows of displaced memories fall
across haunted eyes reddened and dull
Read the rest of the poem Show less
Reason is imprisoned behind bars of pain
as the death masked warden executes your name.
Beaten tortured ruptured and tangled
vanquished emotions lie brutally mangled
awaiting an ending to a fractional existence
devoid of the strength to offer further resistance.
Regret strikes a pose in a mirror loosely
framed
in a border called deception constructed as
sane
reflecting a vague image that doesn't ask
why
just accepts as a solution the notion to
die.
Resolve has now surrendered
succumbing at long last
to an unattainable future
and an unforgiving past
In the spiraling depths
of a lullaby heart
all that once was
hangs...
twisting in the dark
twitching in the dark
rigid in the dark.
Raven Maelstrom’s timeline
- August 2023
-
23 WedAnniversary
10 years of membership
- August 2018
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23 ThuAnniversary
5 years of membership
- August 2014
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23 SatAnniversary
One year of membership
- September 2013
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13 FriNew follower
@Rula
-
04 WedReceived a critique
on Lullaby Heart from @Esker
"I visited the ruined walls of many ... dust laden sunlight halls... suicide...when the door latchs.. and the lid hatch drops.... I remember those helpless pain filled numb ends... the default re start beginnings.. Sweet…" - August 2013
-
30 FriReceived a critique
on Lullaby Heart from @Roscoe Lane
"Forgive me, that was a lazy comment for me to make about your poem. (Aint half bad either). Your poem was very good, what i've never been a fan of is the stretched lines or verses. If the poems good it won't need gimmik…" -
30 FriReceived a critique
on Lullaby Heart from @Roscoe Lane
"The first verse is amazing, grips the reader straight in.The rest isn't half bad either. Nice work. Regards Roscoe..." -
30 FriReceived a critique
on Lullaby Heart from @Ian.T
"This drew me in and flowed well just one small stutter, let me find it again.. Ah! here it is:- Dying shadows of displaced memories fall across eyes sunken (dull). (A word needed here to keep the rhyme) I think this is…" -
29 Thu
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28 WedReceived a critique
on - And I Think - from @Esker
"sticky apturature storm clotting leaves on balcony scenes the tired pub the dirty glass cigarettes while dampness creaks into the leather and shines on the crystal glamour beading a tiara half moon of frenzy on slender…" -
28 WedReceived a critique
on - And I Think - from @Rula
"That very first stanza really took my breath and enhanced with that refrained line were enough to let the nostalgic feeling touch me deeply." -
27 TueReceived a critique
on - And I Think - from @loved
"no not on my wrist rest you may guess twas where tis" -
27 TueCritiqued
"v a n g a u r d " by @Esker
"I am reminded that brilliance can be shaded to the point of mediocrity where self-worth is questioned. Incisive. Nice fling." -
27 TueCritiqued
"Love Truth (Naked emotion Truth and originality Monotetra)" by @Ian.T
"Forced to try this once myself in 85 and failed miserably. Can't say anything negative...don't know better. I do like the redundancy of lines in each last line. It reminds of how I mumble a retort to my wife under my br…" -
27 TueCritiqued
"Love Truth (Naked emotion Truth and originality Monotetra)" by @Ian.T
"Forced to try this once myself in 85 and failed miserably. Can't say anything negative...don't know better. I do like the redundancy of lines in each last line. It reminds of how I mumble a retort to my wife under my br…" -
27 TueCritiqued
"E m m i s h u n " by @Esker
"When someone as unrefined, unpolished, unlearned and hungry to create as I reads a piece of this magnitude, awe does not cover it. I feel as if my cerebral cortex is shellacked to my stupid button. Though new here, I've…" -
27 TueReceived a critique
on - And I Think - from @loved
"single breath poetry only meant a poetry thrown in by the wind as one throws a towel ere one is in.... where??? swimming pool of course no where did I mention here intercourse implied of course" -
27 TueCritiqued
"Round and Around the Round..." by @Roscoe Lane
"I have a grand propensity to be close to water, it calms me and I found myself merrily carried along with the consumption of your eye. Not only that, but the movement of emotion and consumption of your eyes. The greates…" -
27 TueCritiqued
"Plea to the Condemned(Revised)" by @PRECIOUSLYSET1
"Isiah 55: 8-10 As the heavens are above the earth, so are my ways above your ways and my thoughts above your thoughts. Rockism 2:1 God is---and we aren't." -
27 TueCritiqued
"My thoughts(at the moment) on Fear" by @PRECIOUSLYSET1
"Any thought of the southern hemisphere coming into play on your behalf never crossed my mind. UR sharp, witty, humorous and obviously well learned in fields few other dare to tread. There are those who can't perceive pe…" -
27 TueNew follower
@loved
-
27 TueCritiqued
"IAN..You are the only one who supports me" by @loved
"From what I've seen it may seem this neo newbie hasn't read your stream the truth be told I'm not so bold to jest so early on I've picked my way every other day upon a bard or two I apologize too ...I haven't got to you…" -
24 Sat
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24 SatFirst critique offered
on "In the shadow of her" by @themoonman
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23 FriFirst publication
Blue Monday (since unpublished)
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23 FriJoined Neopoet
Membership begins
First poem published 1 days later.
About Me
Just an oddball kind of old man. Survived a forty-two feet fall to a concrete floor and it has given me a entirely different perspective on life. I've actually recovered quite nicely and to look at me from the outside you would never know I'v had twenty-seven different surgeries. Yes, there was a head injury and I've forgotten all the good stuff I had on this site in 2010, but I'm back. Just to give you an idea of how this accident has changed my view points, I recently had someone tell me to eat my veggies because it would put lead in my pencil. I told him, "I don't understand. Why would I want to put lead in my pencil? Without lead, I have a solid rod and isn't that what every man prefers?" The blank expression on his face spoke volumes.
I'm not placing a picture on this site, but if someone is that darn interested in how bad I do look, you can see me at [email protected] so you can feel better about yourself. I also see a place for signature; however, I'm not doing that either because I write under Raven Maelstrom, complain under Korcy Fifthrig, and socialize through Rocky Griffith. Since the fall and the subsequent brain injury, I've resigned myself to the understanding that..."I'm schizophrenic...and so am I."
In addition, I noted the box below which says, "Sex". I vote yes. Furthermore, the following is a true story. After undergoing a triple diskcotomy nerosurgery from S1 thruT-3 in July of 2013, I attempted to sexually engage my beloved wife two weeks later. She adamantly informed me that until the neurosurgeon released me to such activities...it wasn't happening. Upon my four week follow-up, I informed the surgeon of such and asked for a prescription for sex which he willing gave and wrote in this manner for the first time in his thirty-five year career. On an original prescription form it states, "Mr. Griffith may now engage in sexual activities." Little did he know or my wife appreciate that I took said prescription to six (that is 6) different pharmacies until: A) I found a beautiful female pharmacist; B) attempted to have her or an associate of equal attractiveness fill the prescription. Needless to say, though each laughed at my request (especially when I challenged Wal-Mart's "Satisfaction Guaranteed" policy) but, alas, was reduced to having it filled at home. As I said, since my tramatic fall...I see life very differently---as you will well see in my first poem, "Blue Monday".
Location: Central Missouri, USA
Let's just stay with Walt Whitman for the time being.
Recent Work
Contest Wins
This member has not yet won any contests.
Workshops
| Skill level: | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| The Bottom Line | (syllabus) | Olympic Pool | Started 2013-09-09 | Concluded |