patchdog

But what good is a set of wheels,
When they don't fit my truck?

A ceiling fan that does not work,
A vacuum that won't run.
A rifle scope with mounting clip,
But I don't have a gun.

A set of lights to fit a car,
Of vintage I don't know.
They look quite nice but they don't work,
I guess their just for show.

A digital thermometer,
With sensor for outside.
The box said it would work real good,
I guess somebody lied.

A new life jacket that I need,
When I go in my boat.
I dropped it in the lake one day,
It did not even float.

A camera with a leather case,
But what I did not know,
The film was discontinued,
Some twenty years ago.

A barbecue with fire bricks,
On which I drew a blank.
It would not work because of it's,
Outdated propane tank.

A rocking chair of sturdy build,
I thought was made of oak,
But when I sat me down in it,
One of the rockers broke.

A baseball with a catcher's mitt,
A bat and face mask too,
But what good will such things do me?
My baseball days are through.

A set of dishes in a box,
Were just a sorry joke.
Before I got them all unpacked,
A lot of them were broke.

A tire pump with missing hose,
But down inside the box,
Within the package which they came,
A bunch of new padlocks.

Yet once again I proved a fool,
For sure the joke's on me.
A thousand padlocks are no good,
If you don't have a key.

Although I swore I'd never go,
To any sale again,
If I lost out on some great deal,
I could not stand the pain.


Just thinking of the bargains missed,
By bids I never made.
While someone else takes home the deal,
Such memories do not fade.

I tell myself I have a plan,
To get my money back,
Just one good yard sale every year,
Should keep me in the black.

So now you know the truth my friend,
I'm telling you no lies.
Just bring some money to my sale,
And you'll get your surprise.

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