A Way To Say It (constructive feedback workshop)

Darn sonnet writing show off lol.I like the use of conflict in writing about being unable to write. I've even used it a few times myself . As is too typical with sonnets though a few lines and word choices seem a bit forced in order to maintain the "count" :
S-1,L-3 change rather to in fact or indeed and swap places with it's and it is
S-2,L-1Try changing to :comparing one to a bright summer day will avoid having to use Mays in following
.....L-3 drop the s in Mays
S-3,L-2 Try to write of the joy I have found in you..........just seems clser to what I think you mean to convey
But this might all be a matter of dialect as such can have a great effect ofhow something reads................stan PS note that I hit the workshop button and thus have my feedback enclosed in that official looking border lol

Dear Judy, I like your title because it is not mushy, as neither is the poem.Nice... In this stanza:

Comparing one to bright-lit summer days
too hot for gold complexions to adore;
rough winds, thus startling darling buds of Mays -
one finds that it has all been said before.

I would change L-1 to read:
Comparing one to a bright summer lit day
and L-3 to read:
rough winds, thus startling darling buds of May

as it sounds better to the ear (IMHO)

I liked these lines:

I'll use a phrase that's more in use today
to write the words of joy I found with you.
Though simple - nowhere near great William's way -
to me, nevertheless, they're just as true.

Although my saying this may sound ill-bred,
I'm glad you parked your shoes beneath my bed.

(the reference to William Shakespere?) and the last two lines that bring it into the "now"

always, Cat

What I liked most is that I felt the poet's heart in this sonnet and not to mention the title which internally rhymes too but if I may and it is only because I've noticed it is the only two words which don't fully rhyme in your third stanza (you, true) , here

to write the words of joy I found with you...I'd suggest [to write the words of joy with you I knew
to me, nevertheless, they're just as true.... I'd suggest [ to me, nevertheless, they're true though new]
however , I know you are fully aware that yours can still work perfectly well.

I love the way you carried this trough, from a love protest to a sweet encounter of chance. It was a very well put together sentiment . However, I did find myself having to build the flow of it as I had to read it more than the required twice. This is not to say that the poem in and of itself wasn't very enjoyable.

Tommi