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Star
Brightness pours through weathered panes crystal blue,
Raining sunbeam kisses down on my head,
Whilst scented warmth wafts across morning's hue,
Coaxing me from the safety of my bed,
The same ball of fire that outside warms bees,
And gifts wildlife with ripened fruits and seeds,
That lols along the limbs of ancient trees,
And skips through silver fields of dew dropped beads,
Other side of those panes though wars are fought,
And dark angry clouds pose a constant threat,
Violent storms rage and destruction is wrought,
With many days shrouded in fog lost, yet,
Darkness can not hold her she rises still
Starts conquering mountains hill after hill.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I'm not sure about the title. I was going to title it Growing Light but felt that might be seen as condescending. What do you think?
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Final polish
Critiques
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