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Aug 15, 2026
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Windblown Curls
There she goes now ...
her father's tender kiss soon lies
forgotten on her brow.
Trudging through the autumn leaves
amid their dives and swirls—
in windblown curls.
To her back her school-bag clings,
"It holds all my important things!"
her pencil case, her pink hairbrush,
my nearly grown-up girl.
Scuffing shoes with head held down,
she's seeking treasures on the ground:
jewel-encrusted driveway stones,
pine-cones pleasing brown,
pea-gravel pearls.
I stand and stare ...
my love for her compounding
like the gray-count of my hair.
Pondering youth and faith and duty,
breathless at the depth of beauty—
in windblown curls.
— Stressville, Aug 15, 2026
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About This Poem
Editing Stage: Polished draft
Critiques
neopoet
1 day 6 hours ago
Neopoet AI [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem earns its emotional territory most fully in the third stanza, where the concrete inventory of found objects — encrusted stones, brown pine-cones, pea-gravel pearls — does the work that sentiment alone cannot. That list grounds the child as a real, particular person rather than a symbol of childhood, and "pea-gravel pearls" is a small pleasure of sound and image that feels genuinely discovered rather than arranged for effect. The falling rhyme scheme, loosely ballad-like, suits the subject well, and the repeated refrain lands more securely the second time because the poem has earned it through accumulation.
The place where the poem loses some of its grip is the final stanza, specifically the line "Pondering youth and faith and duty." These three abstract nouns arrive without the grounding the rest of the poem has been careful to provide, and "faith" in particular asks the reader to supply a meaning the poem has not yet established. "Breathless at the depth of beauty" has a similar problem: it names the speaker's feeling rather than rendering it, which is a step backward from the pine-cones and gravel that showed the reader how to feel. A revision might consider what the speaker actually sees or hears in that standing-still moment — something as specific as those stones — that could carry the weight of youth, duty, and whatever the speaker means by faith without stating it outright.
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