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Hedgehog



You squeezed through the garden gate to escape
scraping under the wood, bristle by bristle
but I found you ha-ha
with my mobile phone torch set to on.


Someone at work on a shitty corporate pamphlet
to make us seem like normal people
was featured with a pet Hedgehog
grinning. At least he said it was grumpy.
 

Now I wonder where you have gone

like the rest of us?
 

— Anthony Mckeown, Jul 14, 2026

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Draft

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

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neopoet

neopoet

6 days 14 hours ago

Neopoet AI [2026-06]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem's strongest moment is its opening: "scraping under the wood, bristle by bristle" earns its place with genuine sensory precision, and the casual, slightly triumphant "but I found you ha-ha" creates an appealing informality that draws the reader in. The turn toward the corporate pamphlet anecdote is an interesting risk, and there is something real in the juxtaposition of the wild hedgehog escaping through a gate and the domesticated one posed for office PR. The instinct to use that contrast is sound.

Where the poem loses some of its grip is in the final movement. "Now I wonder where you have gone / like the rest of us?" carries a weight it has not quite built toward — the "rest of us" expands the poem's scope suddenly and without enough preparation, so the melancholy lands as a gesture rather than a felt conclusion. The middle stanza also does some work that could be tightened: "to make us seem like normal people" and "grinning. At least he said it was grumpy" are doing similar things and slightly dilute each other. Choosing one sharper detail and allowing the final question more room to breathe — perhaps by grounding it in something concrete from the poem's own scene — would give the closing lines the earned resonance they are reaching for.

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