Paradox of Me

I crave the connection

But I cannot connect,

Once I happen to bond

I am full of neglect.

I want to be loved

But I can't love myself,

I keep running in circles

That I so want to break.

I keep running away, 

Trying to find my place

And I want to be found

But I'm leaving no trace.

Such a horror of mine -

- Paradoxical state

When I'm so full of care

But don't care 'bout myself.

Feeling stuck all the time

Almost feels like a curse

While I'm begging for change

And rejecting its course.

And I wander and wonder

When will I finally see?

Everything that I needed

Was always in Me.