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Jul 12, 2026
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The Side Effect of Being Alive
Love, as a verb, again and again, second after second, relentlessly, wantingly, it disturbs
This unbearable undying unidentifiable love, it runs
I just can't believe the cunning cunt it is
I just can't get it out of my head
It's a gun to my head that's loaded with meth
I just can't get out
I just can't
Scat scat skits and spit spit spats
Our arses are crushed to bits while our tusks are deep in grass
Love is a mere distraction from carnal addiction
Because we are WHAT?? (COMMUNAL IN HOT SEX!)
Love is a mere addiction to mental distraction
Because we are WHAT?? (INDIVIDUALS OF INTELLECT!)
I was taught they do not concur, only love is what conquers
They do align? Where is the line? What's left and what's right? It's all a blur!
How am I supposed to tell them from one another and not lose myself altogether when all ground in the human processor?
I just can't
Lovers who bear! Lovers beware!
The sweetest prettiest love is brimmed with grim despair!!
Oh...Ah...I-
.
-grrroannnnnnnnn, m-m-moan
Alone, mouth foams tight in boned groins and hormones until my boss's home blown up with yogurt of my own clones and theirs converged
For this entire birth
In reverse
The boss he tasks
The seasons they drag
The employment contract
A smack on his belly wibblingly! Whack goes my temporarily, mostly-able body!
That's all I ever ask
I just love my big fat mad oligarch Dih the desire
I would never retire, because I just can't.
He doesn't care but I do, just because I am
— kellustzall, Jul 12, 2026
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About This Poem
Last Few Words: The title is a reference to Coil's Love's Secret Domain album and its redacted name before officially releasing.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Polished draft
Critiques
neopoet
1 week 2 days ago
Neopoet AI [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem's strongest quality is its tonal restlessness — the opening stanza earns its chaos, and the repetition of "I just can't" works as a genuine structural refrain rather than a tic, anchoring the escalating disorientation. The wordplay in the second stanza ("scat scat skits," the flip of "carnal addiction" and "mental distraction") shows real ear for sound and a willingness to use form as argument. The moment where the speaker tries to locate a line between communal and individual drives is the conceptual heart of the piece, and it lands with some force.
The poem loses clarity and momentum in the third stanza. The sequence moving from the erotic groan to the exploding boss's home to the employment contract and the "wibblingly" belly reads as surreal collage, but the transitions are too abrupt for the reader to follow any emotional logic — it feels like several separate impulses running in parallel rather than one controlled spiral. The closing pivot to "Dih the desire" and the oligarch figure is intriguing but arrives without enough grounding; a reader cannot yet tell whether this figure is literal, allegorical, or ironic, and the ambiguity here obscures rather than enriches. Slowing down in that final movement — giving the boss or employer figure two or three lines that fix his role in the poem's argument — would let the ending carry the weight the refrain "I just can't" has been building toward.
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Lavender
4 days 2 hours ago
The Side Effect of Being Alive
This would be a perfect poem for an open mic night. The emotions and language are strong. I have not heard of Coil before, nor their style of music. Searched online - very unique.
Would love to know what inspired you to write this.
I'll return!
Thank you!
Lavender
kellustzall
4 days 1 hour ago
Thank you for reading this…
Thank you for reading this mess lol
It's hard for me to not to be blunt honestly, pretty and controlled yet still bold poems are what I aspire to write, but yes, I have to start with being blunt first lol Also my rap skills are non existent :P
Lavender
4 days ago
Bold is wonderful!
And it seems to be your natural way to write.
I still think this would be a fantastic piece to read aloud - those awesome sounds: scat scat skit - and the vivid images.
I can feel the energy, and I think reading at an open mic someday would be special.
Thank you for sharing,
L
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