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Jul 06, 2026
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Republic
Humble beginnings
Migrants from far-off lands
Each seeking a place to make their own
They journey into the unknown, each by a different road
Sights set on the future
Their futures will belong to them
They journey through spaces with no names
Spaces never travelled before
No map
Short on supplies
Strangers to one another
To find a place where they belong
They settle
They live
They strive for something better
And yet
And yet they still are not free
Each of them answers one who in turn answers to none
They fill his granaries and get nothing back but hunger
It is not natural
They must become free
This fear is the seed of a common destiny
Strangers no longer, bound now by what they've suffered together
They will shed their blood for liberty if need be
And they do
They become free
They stand as equals
You are now free
You will become a new democracy
A new age begins
An age of progress
An age of understanding
An age of ideas, innovation and equality
You are going to change the world
You are going to make it a better place
You have never stood so high
Your granaries and treasuries, never so full
Nothing is beyond your reach
You can have anything that you want
You can do nothing wrong
Then it happens
You just wanted to defend your homeland
You didn’t mean to invade a foreign land
But you did
Blood-stained standard
The tears of a thousand mothers
The era of peace is not over you say
You only did what you did to defend the honor of your homeland
You didn’t seek glory and riches
And yet you have more than you can carry
You have become corrupted
You tell yourself nothing has changed
You are still a humble people
Yet you are no longer small
You are no longer innocent
Your innocence has been washed away in the blood of innocents
The lives you destroyed
The endless waste
What was it for?
You felt threatened
You had to act first
They would have destroyed you, you tell yourself
And yet a part of you doubts your intentions
A part of you wonders if the price was worth it.
Or was it about the glory and the riches that you secretly coveted
No.
You are still free
You are a democracy
A land in which everyone is equal
Or is that also a lie that you are telling yourself because the truth is just too hard to bear.
No.
You are living in a grand new age
An age of progress
An age of understanding
An age of ideas, innovation and equality
You are going to change the world
You are going to make it a better place
Your fortunes have never been higher
Nothing is beyond your reach
You can have anything that you want
You can do nothing wrong
Why are you beginning to tell others what they can and cannot do?
You know what is best for all.
Then it happens again
You feel threatened
You need to act first
They have to be destroyed or they will destroy you
You must defend the bastion of liberty
You must defend your homeland
You didn’t mean to invade a foreign land
But you did
Blood stained standard
The tears of a thousand mothers
The empty cities filled with smoke and a fearful silence
The era of peace is not over you say
You only did what you did to defend the honor of your homeland
You didn’t seek glory and riches
And yet you now want for nothing
You have become corrupted
You tell yourself and the world that nothing has changed
You are still a humble people
The world doesn’t believe you
They won’t tell you
You are feared.
You are the Republic
Beacon of freedom and equality.
You can do no wrong
Everything you do is to ensure a bright future for mankind
It happens again
You invade this time to ensure the liberty of others against a great oppressor.
Why did you stay once the war is gone
Why are you building forts and digging trenches
Why are your soldiers in the streets?
Why do those who speak go into the night
Where are they
You are not liberators
You are conquerors
And yet, you tell yourself that you have done everything for the best
You have ensured prosperity at home
You are the Republic
Beacon of freedom and equality
Why does the vote no longer speak true to the heart
Why are the old doubts you fled returning
Your world is shriveling up from the inside
On the outside the columns still stand white and gleaming
On the inside the wooden beams turn to dust
Why is everything done for the benefit of a few?
Yet it is still done in the name of the many
You are doing better than you have ever been doing
Yet you begin to falter
You always have something to do when you have enemies to conquer, villains to chase
Yet piece by piece you are defeating them all
You feel threatened
You need to act first
They have to be destroyed or they will destroy you
You must defend the bastion of liberty
You must defend your homeland
You didn’t mean to invade a foreign land
But you did
Blood stained standard
The tears of a thousand mothers
The empty cities filled with smoke and a fearful silence
The era of peace is not over you say
You only did what you did to defend the honor of your homeland
You didn’t seek glory and riches
And yet you now have anything and everything
You have become corrupted
What happens when you have no enemies except for yourselves?
The state is no longer run by the many
It is run by the few
They begin to compete with each other for glory and power, to make a name for themselves
You don’t care
You are entertained
You are well fed
Yet you still have power over events, but for how long is anyone's guess
Civil war
Brother against brother
Sister against sister
Families torn apart like in the days of old
Hearth split neatly down the middle
Cracks becoming chasms
A rupture that may never repair
No longer threatened by any outsiders you turn upon each other
Blood stained standard
The tears of a thousand mothers
The empty cities filled with smoke and a fearful silence
The era of peace is over
A man emerges victorious
You ply him with honors and compete to give him power
You are no longer in charge, but you don’t know or care
You are entertained
You are well fed
You are now the Empire
— Paulo Delgado, Jul 06, 2026
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About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Polished draft
Critiques
neopoet
1 day 18 hours ago
Neopoet AI [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem's greatest strength is its structural argument. The repeated refrain — "Blood stained standard / The tears of a thousand mothers / The empty cities filled with smoke and a fearful silence" — functions as a toll bell marking each cycle of corruption, and the logic of accumulation genuinely works: each repetition lands with slightly more weight because the preceding stanzas have thickened the moral context. The shift from third person in the opening to second person for the bulk of the poem is a sound instinct, pulling the reader into complicity, and the final line earns its brevity precisely because it has been so long deferred.
The main challenge is that the poem relies heavily on statement rather than image. Lines like "You have become corrupted," "Your world is shriveling up from the inside," and "A rupture that may never repair" tell the reader what to feel rather than creating the conditions for that feeling to arise. The image of columns white and gleaming on the outside while wooden beams rot within is the strongest moment in the later sections — that is the mode the poem needs more of throughout. Similarly, the "you" addressed is sometimes the republic as institution and sometimes something closer to its citizenry, and that slippage occasionally blurs the accusation at the moments it should be sharpest. Tightening the focus of who exactly is being indicted in any given passage — the powerful few, the passive many, or the nation as collective fiction — would sharpen the poem's central claim considerably.
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