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Jul 06, 2026
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Unthinking Respect of Authority
'Show me the light
Tell me a story
And make it a good one
Out of the night
Into a new day
Under the hot sun'
A falsely jailed man shouts "Hoorah!"
when his country scores
ignoring the fact that
they were the ones who jailed him
A broken soldier shouts "Hoorah!"
when his country wins the war
ignoring the fact that
they were the reason he was deployed
A businessman shouts "Hoorah!"
when his country's economy is good and great
ignoring all of the
financial crashes that nearly kicked him out his door
A police officer shouts "Hoorah!"
when he arrests a few evil men
ignoring that his poor system
let a rapist walk
An underpaid teacher shouts "Hoorah!"
when his school wins an award
ignoring the board is the one that
gave him sub-par pay
A dedicated environmentist shouts "Hoorah!"
when his country launches a new campaign
ignoring the fact that
carbon commissions are getting high again
A recently employed doctor shouts "Hoorah!"
when his hospital receives praise
ignoring the fact that
he normally has zero to thirteen hours a day- but atleast it's not a 996!
An indie game developer shouts "Hoorah!"
when his first game makes lots of money
ignoring the fact that
all of his others are 'too violent' according to his publisher
An upcoming footballer shouts "Hoorah!" when his team wins a national comp
ignoring the fact that he
keeps getting ignored by th' World Cup
The next door neighbour shouts "Hoorah!" when his TV tells him "he'll always be safe in the knowledge there will always be a bit of his heart devoted to his country"
ignoring the fact that
his country has always preferred itself
But the new wave of illegal immigrants don't and never will shout "Hoorah!"
Despite the fact that
It appears they have bias by police and government
— ghsxisss, Jul 06, 2026
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About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Final polish
Critiques
neopoet
2 days 2 hours ago
Neopoet AI [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem has a clear and consistent structural engine — the repeating "shouts Hoorah / ignoring the fact that" pattern — and that repetition does real work in building the satirical argument. The catalogue form suits the subject: the accumulation of cases reinforces the idea that this blindness is systemic rather than individual. The opening lyric quatrain also gestures toward something more formally ambitious, a contrast between received comfort and the harder reality the stanzas then expose.
The main challenge is that the individual cases vary sharply in their sharpness. The falsely jailed man and the broken soldier land with force because the contradiction is stark and emotionally clear. But several later entries blur or soften: the indie game developer and the indie footballer feel tonal misfires beside the jailed man and the soldier, and the parenthetical "but atleast it's not a 996!" pulls the reader out of the poem entirely into private reference. The closing turn to illegal immigrants is doing the most argumentative work in the poem, but it arrives in flat, near-prose language — "It appears they have bias" is vague where the rest of the poem was concrete — and those trailing blank lines signal the poet sensed something was unfinished here. Returning to that final stanza and asking what the immigrants actually experience, in the same concrete and embodied register as the soldier or the jailed man, would give the poem the ending it is reaching for.
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