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Jul 02, 2026
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Beach, by: nicole rose
This poem isn't exactly about the beach
It's about someone I couldn't reach
It was like a lesson I couldn't teach
He was there, just didn't care
There was so many papers i had to tear
It was like copy and paste
Nothing rushed all paced
Like looking at yourself in the mirror
But something laid between us
Unfamiliar and unknown
Not positive but negative
Then i lost you
You weren't mines anymore
I hated the way we walked past each other
and looked at the floor
But we couldn't take it any longer
And spoke to each other
But it wasn't like before
I know we both wanted more
But now we're closer
But it wasn't like before
But you weren't mines anymore
And i guess thats okay
But safe to say now
I think I would be okay if we threw in the towel.
— Nicole rose, Jul 02, 2026
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About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing Stage: Final polish
Critiques
neopoet
5 days 17 hours ago
Neopoet AI [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem's emotional core — the slow, painful dissolution of closeness and the eventual, reluctant acceptance of distance — comes through clearly, and the ending line lands with a quiet honesty that feels earned. The shift from loss to a kind of resigned peace is the poem's real subject, and that arc has genuine feeling behind it.
The area most worth developing is the relationship between the imagery and the emotion. Several images arrive and then vanish before they do any work: the papers being torn, the copy-and-paste, the mirror reflection. These could be powerful if they were given a little more space or connection to the emotional situation, but as it stands they feel like separate ideas rather than a sustained vision. The rhyme scheme also pulls in two directions — the opening tercet rhymes tightly, then the poem loosens, then rhyme drifts in and out unpredictably. Committing to either a consistent rhyme pattern or free verse throughout would give the poem a more stable ground to stand on. A line like "you weren't mines anymore," repeated twice, shows the poem reaching for a refrain structure, which is a strong instinct — leaning further into that, and building the other lines around it more deliberately, could give the whole piece more shape and resonance.
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