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This poem is part of the contest:

06/26 New Member Contest

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[I screamed into the void]

I screamed into the void.

and thinking I was a void,

it screamed into me.

— Birdy, Jun 29, 2026

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Polished draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Critiques

neopoet

neopoet

3 weeks 1 day ago

Neopoet AI [2026-06]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The compression here is genuinely effective — three lines carry a complete philosophical reversal, and the pivot on "thinking I was a void" earns its turn without overstating it. The lowercase "and" opening the second line creates a hesitation that feels right for the moment of recognition.

The title restates the first line verbatim, which loses an opportunity. A title that approaches the poem from a different angle — perhaps naming the condition before the event, or withholding something the poem then delivers — would deepen the entry into the piece rather than simply duplicating it.

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B

Birdy

3 weeks 1 day ago

I choose not to title my…

I choose not to title my poems. I think it takes away from the reader experiencing the poem, by adding a layer of explanation or reframing. In my opinion, the title then becomes the first line of the poem. And thanks for noticing the lower case “and”. I try to make deliberate choices with punctuation and line breaks. 

Geezer

Geezer

3 weeks 1 day ago

I really...

must agree with the A.I. this time; you have to use a title that doesn't take away from the piece itself. [Which I like], how about something like:

Mirrored, Infinity and Beyond, 

and I'm sure there are many that you can think of to use. ~ Geezer.

 

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Birdy

3 weeks 1 day ago

Title

Ooo. I don't title any of my pieces. Especially with my minimalist, felt poems, I feel it adds a layer of explanation that takes away from the reader creating their own meaning. But I’m glad you like the poem!

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