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This poem is part of the contest:

06/26 New Member Contest

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Seeing

Alone in the darkness
I hear a voice telling me 
I don’t deserve this. 
In the light of day
I am confronted with 
A hug and a soft touch. 
The bluest eyes, looking
Deep into my own.
Seeing only the 
Softness of my heart.
Piercing the voice 
in the darkness.
It was all a lie. 
I do deserve this.
I just didn’t believe 
Until the eyes closed.  


 

— Lucas Day, Jun 23, 2026

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

Geezer

Geezer

2 weeks ago

I wouldn't...

 say that I pierced the voice in the darkness, I think that you would do better to say,

Calming the voice in the darkness.

Welcome to Neo. ~ Geezer.

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