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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem carries a genuinely affecting emotional arc: two figures share a struggle, one moves forward while the other falls away, and the final image of being swallowed by light has quiet dignity. The closing line, "a past remembered but never repeated," earns its weight as a closing gesture, suggesting acceptance rather than bitterness. The moment where light peeks through eyelids before the speaker sees the other person smiling is the most precise image in the piece, and it anchors an otherwise abstract passage.

The main craft challenge is that most of the poem tells the reader what the speaker feels rather than showing the conditions that produce those feelings. Phrases like "scared and hopeless" and "cold and felt abandoned" name emotions directly, which keeps the reader at a distance from the experience. Consider what specific sensory detail, gesture, or image might carry that same feeling without stating it outright. For example, instead of "cold and felt abandoned," what does the space around the speaker look like, sound like, or feel like in that moment? The structural isolation of each short phrase as its own stanza suggests fragmentation and silence, which is appropriate to the subject, but that technique becomes more powerful when the fragments themselves are concrete rather than abstract.

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 thoroughly disoriented, I think that was the intention. ~ Geezer.