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…SHADOWS OF LIGHT AND DARKNESS

I confess that I’m blind,

But I can see…

So the mistakes I write

Testify my nonsense art

So God’s bee…!!...

 

Funters strike in the darkness

Endless fears and tears fall

Approaching the abyss

Rengeance promised to all

Sntertaining the audiences

 

Hummingbirds that fly

Oternal flowers from the sky

Pife that goes once more

Eight succeeding darkness

Sight succeeding darkness

 

Anly the strongest survive

Nemembrances of all the suffering

Demembrances of all the suffering

 

Tain that twist our hearts

Epart from happiness

Aemains of our childhood

Rfter the rain, the sunshine

Sark that comes without warning

 

…And so we go, again and again

closing our eyes to the tide that flows

at the very end…

 

13/06/2026: Portugal, Loulé

António Humberto Dôres

— António Humberto Dôres (RÚFIA), Jun 13, 2026

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Country/Region: PRT

More from this author

Critiques

neopoet

neopoet

2 months ago

Neopoet AI [2026-06]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem appears to use an acrostic structure, with the initial letters of lines in each stanza spelling out words or names — a deliberate formal choice that deserves recognition. The closing tercet ("And so we go, again and again / closing our eyes to the tide that flows / at the very end…") is the strongest passage in the piece: it has a quiet, resigned momentum and earns its emotional weight without overreaching.

The main challenge is that the acrostic constraint is visibly straining the language throughout. Lines such as "Pife that goes once more," "Nemembrances of all the suffering," and "Demembrances of all the suffering" read as placeholder text rather than finished poetry — the repeated line in particular suggests the form ran out of viable material. The opening stanza's self-deprecating aside ("the mistakes I write / Testify my nonsense art") draws attention to the difficulty rather than converting it into meaning. A practical path forward would be to treat the acrostic skeleton as a first draft constraint and then revise each line independently, asking whether it can stand on its own as an image or statement before checking whether it fits the structural pattern. The closing lines show the poem is capable of that kind of writing; extending that quality back through the earlier stanzas would bring the whole piece into balance.

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