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…SHADOWS OF LIGHT AND DARKNESS
I confess that I’m blind,
But I can see…
So the mistakes I write
Testify my nonsense art
So God’s bee…!!...
Funters strike in the darkness
Endless fears and tears fall
Approaching the abyss
Rengeance promised to all
Sntertaining the audiences
Hummingbirds that fly
Oternal flowers from the sky
Pife that goes once more
Eight succeeding darkness
Sight succeeding darkness
Anly the strongest survive
Nemembrances of all the suffering
Demembrances of all the suffering
Tain that twist our hearts
Epart from happiness
Aemains of our childhood
Rfter the rain, the sunshine
Sark that comes without warning
…And so we go, again and again
closing our eyes to the tide that flows
at the very end…
13/06/2026: Portugal, Loulé
António Humberto Dôres
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Critiques
neopoet
2 months ago
Neopoet AI [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem appears to use an acrostic structure, with the initial letters of lines in each stanza spelling out words or names — a deliberate formal choice that deserves recognition. The closing tercet ("And so we go, again and again / closing our eyes to the tide that flows / at the very end…") is the strongest passage in the piece: it has a quiet, resigned momentum and earns its emotional weight without overreaching.
The main challenge is that the acrostic constraint is visibly straining the language throughout. Lines such as "Pife that goes once more," "Nemembrances of all the suffering," and "Demembrances of all the suffering" read as placeholder text rather than finished poetry — the repeated line in particular suggests the form ran out of viable material. The opening stanza's self-deprecating aside ("the mistakes I write / Testify my nonsense art") draws attention to the difficulty rather than converting it into meaning. A practical path forward would be to treat the acrostic skeleton as a first draft constraint and then revise each line independently, asking whether it can stand on its own as an image or statement before checking whether it fits the structural pattern. The closing lines show the poem is capable of that kind of writing; extending that quality back through the earlier stanzas would bring the whole piece into balance.
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