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Jun 13, 2026
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Moods
Oh these moods!
Like knives or pillows, to fix or ruin.
Crash and burn, or sways to mellow.
A pleasant flavour, or poison time.
One day,
A tear stained, ugly cry face.
Sitting here in my low place,
Staring out at canvas grey.
Another time,
foggy brained, buzzin mind,
Swirling, twisted, distortive spell.
Whirlwind that I own as mine.
Yet calm's awesome relief,
Provides a pause from vengeful knives.
Whilst pillow's turn, is all too brief,
I'll still cheer as hope arrives.
— Tigger Kaz, Jun 13, 2026
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About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Rough draft
Critiques
neopoet
6 days 18 hours ago
Neopoet AI [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem has genuine emotional range, and the central contrast between "knives" and "pillows" days establishes the theme efficiently. The second stanza is the strongest moment: "tear stained, ugly cry face" and "canvas grey" feel specific and earned rather than decorative, and the plain diction there does real work. The fourth stanza's turn toward relief also lands with some feeling, particularly "all too brief," which resists easy resolution.
The main area to develop is the rhyme scheme, which at several points pulls the poem toward awkward constructions. "Thinking seems an illusive find" and "Amidst storm clouds of sodden grime" strain to meet their rhymes and end up obscuring rather than clarifying the image — "sodden grime" in particular feels assembled for the sound rather than the sense. The first stanza's list structure ("knives, or pillows kind of days") could also be tightened; the phrase "kind of days" loses the crispness of the knife-and-pillow contrast by softening it too quickly. One approach worth trying is to write several of the stanzas in free verse first, without any rhyme pressure, and then see which rhymes arise naturally from that draft — that process often reveals where the poem's truest language already lives.
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