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Tomb morrow the United States commonwealth doth goeth to the dogs
Tomb morrow the United States commonwealth doth goeth to the dogs
Though the two hundred and fiftieth anniversary for what will purportedly commence (and fast approaching the July fifth, two thousand and twenty sixth after the common era), that idealistic mantra videlicet rocking in the free world, which lyric courtesy Neil Young wrote within the album titled Freedom officially released on October 2,1989 did not make the year-end or overall Billboard Hot 100 for 1989, but nevertheless became a massive rock staple, and primarily a radio and MTV hit. It ultimately peaked at No. 2 on the Billboard Mainstream Rock Tracks chart said though provoking words found of his would be quite antithetical today, and more to the point farther removed from the reality of Nouveau riche (French for "new rich") describes individuals who have recently acquired wealth within their own lifetime, rather than through familial inheritance approximately thirty seven years since since said album, and as the date of this poem, the one percent of global billionaires wield according to the Wealth Distribution Pyramid e-gypped the less financially solvent the current U.S. wealth distribution reflects a historic gap, with the top 10% holding roughly two-thirds of the nation's household net worth. Driven by real estate and financial asset gains, the minimum net worth threshold to be in the top 10% is $2.2 million, while median household net worth sits around $192,900.
Apocalypse now
finds more than old rotten Gotham
slipping into the behavioral sink,
especially when seen
thru the eyes of an ancient mariner,
or a contemporary earthling linkedin
as a solitary Homo sapiens
living social within the latter part
of the second decade
of the twenty first century
versus a voyager
referencing an ancient mariner
a braggart boasting
to his landlubber brethren
sailing across the seven seas,
when in truth
the number of sizable water bodies
populating planet earth
no single universally
agreed-upon number
because a "sea"
(sometimes defined
as just a subdivision
of an ocean,
experts, geographers,
and the National Ocean Service
generally recognize
between fifty and
one hundred seas worldwide
the discrepancy linkedin
to nonstandard naming conventions
predicated on various and sundry
naming traditions encompassing
great swaths of aitch two owe
nowadays referencing
and used poetically
to refer to the world's
five major oceans
(Pacific, Atlantic, Indian,
Southern, and Arctic)
along with the division
of the Pacific and Atlantic
into North and South.
In my humble opinion (with no academic credential in economics), I believe we (incorporating thee entire global population) exhibits the greatest monetary disparity between the haves and the have nots, one of which person includes mister word smith here, a Caucasian heterosexual latitudinarian, nonestablishmentarian, Pennsylvanian, proletarian, sexagenarian and Unitarian typing these words, who ofttimes feels sorely tempted to strike up a Faustian bargain in an effort to accumulate adequate legal tender, but would shudder to deliver misfortune on the heads of me wife and mother of our two grown daughters, the eldest exceeding far beyond the economic range of her dirty deeds done dirt cheap to render me dirt poor, and I asked Google is the disparity between the financial haves and have not most acute today? and the unsurprising response - Yes, the financial disparity between the rich and the poor is at a modern peak. In the United States, the top 1% holds roughly $55 trillion in wealth—equaling the combined net worth of the bottom 90%. Meanwhile, the bottom 50% of households hold just 2.5% of total wealth.
The forefathers/mothers would be aghast
how soon to be minted
trillionaires would blast
every cotton picking
socially progressive program classed
for the less fortunate or lucky enough
to win PowerBall
or Megamillion drawing
kept invisibly glassed
within a virtual encasement
and impossible mission
to break free and clearly hast
(an archaic English verb
meaning "have" linkedin
to second-person singular
present tense of the verb "to have"
(e.g., "Thou hast" means "You have")
ist mostly obsolete,
and frequently encountered
in older literature, poetry,
and religious texts
like the King James Bible
original document mostly
preserved within icecast
and air tight chambers
cause they would
most likely disintegrate
in open air and possibly
be nibbled by mice
which critters would inadvertently
find themselves as holy creatures
and revered in Nice
fetching quite a handsome
chunk of cheese
far exceeding the general price
to eat for any cracker.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Eastern
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Polished draft
Critiques
neopoet
1 month 1 week ago
Neopoet AI [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem's most significant challenge is genre and formal coherence. The prose paragraphs — particularly the opening block and the third paragraph beginning "In my humble opinion" — read as research notes or editorial commentary rather than poem. They include copy-pasted data, parenthetical citations, personal biography, and a verbatim Google response, all of which flatten the voice and stall any poetic momentum before it can build. The verse sections have genuine energy and a few strong local moments: "slipping into the behavioral sink" lands well, and the closing movement through the King James Bible, mice, and cheese has an absurdist wit that is genuinely interesting. But these passages are buried under so much expository scaffolding that the reader cannot settle into them. A productive revision would strip the prose blocks entirely or compress them into two or three imagistically charged lines, then allow the verse sections to carry the argument on their own terms.
The second concern is consistency of register. The poem moves between archaic diction (doth, goeth, hast), contemporary internet language (linkedin used as a verb, multiple references to Google), economic jargon, and casual self-disclosure, and these shifts do not yet feel intentional or controlled — they feel like accumulated drafting. Jarring register changes can be a real poetic tool, but they need a governing logic the reader can feel. The parenthetical definitions of "hast" and "Nouveau riche" in particular work against the poem's authority: if archaic or foreign words are being used, trust them to do their work without annotation. Cutting the inline glosses and committing fully to the tonal collisions already present in the piece would sharpen it considerably.
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Geezer
1 month 2 weeks ago
In truth ...
the Feudal system is alive and well here, in the so-called Free-World.
Huh! Free world? There will be none of that here! The royalty of C.E.O.s, upper-class nobility with their vassals and peasants all lined up to meet the master of MAGA, on the 250th birthday of [the faraway and fabled land of US]. There are secrets hidden in the ceremony of the great orator, and without the musical fanfare of bands of touring musicians, it will have to be expressions of fealty and
willingness to be sacrificed to the bus.
Nicely done ~ Geez.
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