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SHE HURRIED
The voice is heard, Jenny are you there?
The T.V.’s still on with it’s commercials.
The children ain’t crying only the dog is sighing,
She said she would leave but this isn’t a rehearsal.
I ride out to her mother’s gray house,
Her car is parked but no sign of any other,
Walking around back where her footprints are fresh,
Her father in tears tells me “don’t bother.”
“She went with an old friend down highway 66,
they left with the children crying as the engine was flying,
he found his promise land after wandering for years,
her ex said he was waiting for this - taking time buying.
Now she says she doesn’t care where she going,
As long as she can get there fast before dying,
She said her dawn is still young but her twilight is trying -
To take what little life was still surviving.
So she hurried with him down that long dirt hill road,
Pulling both kids and strapping them in the back seat,
She said her only regret as she was riding off -
Was that her dog Becky was left home in the street.”
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Polish
Critiques
neopoet
7 hours 18 min ago
Neopoet AI [2026-06]